#i get a shit ton of ideas and then pursue one or two of them

[handsomeamoeba]

WRONG.

Try again.

Actually let's get into this. As someone who loves a great many fantasy RPGs including BG3, Skyrim, and Dragon Age, let me explain what BG3 gets that Skyrim misses, in my opinion.

And this is the big one: the characters in BG3 feel like real fucking people. They have backstories, demonstrable feelings about the events and the other characters, they react to the things you do and they develop as people as you further your relationships. Even minor NPCs often feel fleshed out with distinct personalities and opinions. Hell, going out of my way to cast Speak to Animals is usually rewarded with at least one charming remark. I have never given even a little bit of a shit about 99% of Bethesda NPCs. I usually choose to travel without a companion rather than with unless I need a pack mule to carry my stuff, because their primary function seems to be to get in my way, set off traps, or attract aggro. I can't remember most characters' names unless I'm actively playing. I'm more likely to casually murder people in Skyrim than I am in BG3 or DA because Bethesda hasn't really made any of their NPCs feel like real people, and consequentially I feel no guilt. By comparison I tried to do an evil run of DA:O and gave up the instant I had to kill Wynne (the grandmotherly spirit healer) when she refused to let me go through with my plans, because I hated doing it. Lydia will watch me gut an innocent man and do NOTHING because she has no life, existence, or personality outside of me, the player. This extends to romances, obviously. While optional in all the games, most people will pursue a romance path in BG3 or DA for the additional character arcs it brings to the characters, the emotional nuances they unlock. In Skyrim romance is a box you tick of tasks to complete. In fact, once you marry them, most marriage candidates personalities change *completely* because all spouses have the same few stock dialog lines. That is, if they had a personality to begin with (again, see Lydia). You know how everyone wants to romance unromanceable characters in Bethesda games? Like Brynjolf in Skyrim, or Nick Valentine in FO4? It's because Bethesda actually bothered to give them stories and opinions.

Honestly, this extends to the player character themselves. To a certain extent every player character is a blank slate, but in BG3 and DA it at least feels possible to develop a feeling about who that character is and what they would or would not say or do. I've tried to do that with the Dragonborn and rarely feel strong feelings about them or have strong opinions about what kind of person they are. The only one I've made who I have much of an idea about is my wood elf Parafina, who is Chaotic Evil. Which again is an option I only pick because no one in Skyrim feels real.

The stakes also feel more real in BG3, more personal. Obviously there's the central quest involving the tadpoles, but more than that, it is about a credible threat to your world and the people and communities in it and the people you love. There are tons of reasons to invest yourself emotionally in the narrative. I have never, ever completed the main storyline in Skyrim nor picked a side in Skyrim's civil war. Why would it? Basically nothing happens if I choose not to. Furthermore, if you're not playing as a Nord (which I usually don't), why would you care about Skyrim as a place? You are a faceless, voiceless (pun intended) outsider who gets microaggressed at every turn being asked to choose between two different flavors of fascist. Also dragons are back but like... listen, I don't care? They get pretty easy to pick off at a certain point, it's like swatting flies, they're just a nuisance on the way to my daily errands. And isn't that such a common story? Don't you know so many people who don't really bother with the main storylines of Skyrim? Yeah it's one of the bestselling games of all time but I feel like the fact that most people don't really care about its narrative should be a sign of failure. We all know it's mostly maintained its popularity due to the modding community.

Ultimately both games have rich worlds which reward exploration with little secrets and environmental storytelling. But BG3 feels more "meaningful" because they give me reasons to care about what happens. The writers worked hard to give the game emotional resonance. So I come to the two games for different experiences. I go to BG3 to engage with an interesting story. I go to Skyrim for the quick serotonin hit of completing tasks and hoarding items.

[weebsinstash]

Ok no I'm not done being weird yet, here's another idea for the marriage canon event stuff

Miguel and other Spiders are getting on your ass about, "oh, how old are you now? Why aren't you looking for a husband yet? Why are you spending so much time here?" And are, you know, your friends who love you and for your own good are trying to get you to complete your canon so you, you know, LIVE, but the way you see it is, being forced to do something like that and sacrifice yourself like that isn't living. You're not going to actively pursue and seek out a relationship, you want one to happen naturally, and nothing has felt natural to you and you're afraid of being hurt like that, of being rejected, of opening yourself up to someone and not being good enough, but, O'Hara and the Society don't really want to hear that. It's escalating over time. Little comments here and there, people randomly interjecting their personal anecdotes about their family and their kids into the conversation, "oh this is just like when me and Mary Jane--" "oh my kid loves this flavor, she gets so excited, I like to be naughty and get her these as a treat"

So you reach the point where you're fed up. This is so massively fucking inappropriate of them. There's no "set age" for this kind of thing so why are they harassing you like this, acting like, oh, you gotta hurry and pursue shit right now, it's for your own good? It's just pissing you off and pushing you away. You love traveling to different dimensions and exploring new places and experiencing things that are literally out of this world but if the trade-off for that is constantly being badgered with this stupid narrative of having to sacrifice yourself, you'll happily go home and break canon and die, because at least you'll be truly living and making a choice

So anyways to get to the meat of this post: you've decided you're leaving the Spider Society and you're not going to talk to any of these bitches anymore, just haven't fully decided on when, but like, you're literally thinking within the next week, but you're still, there. And one day you're in the lobby, trying to stand around because you're supposed to go on some sort of stupid assignment, Peter B and Jess with you, the parents talking about baby stuff as you roll your eyes and Peter suspiciously needs you to keep holding Mayday until you're literally refusing, "just put her on the ground or something, you let her climb on walls and shit anyways"

And because you're in the lobby, this big open space with tons of people passing through, suddenly in walks Miguel with. Another Miguel, completely unrelated to the mission you and the others are about to do, kind of just bumping into each other as they pass through. Miguel2 just got scouted by his counterpart that he met during chasing an anomaly, and they're getting to know each other, and at some point Miguel2 is like "can my wife come too 🥺👉👈 she's also a Spider and I can't be here without her" and everyone is a little confused because there's supposed to be the whole only 'one Spider per dimension' rule besides like family, like Peter and Mayday, and you'll just never guess whose alternate universe variant is his wife :) another you comes bounding in wearing casual baggy clothes but looks so radiant and happy, all "hubby 🥰" as she kisses her husband, you're just awkwardly sending glances to 'your' Miguel as you two are, understandably feeling awkward because, you're, coworkers, and here are two people who look exactly like you being all lovey dovey "princesa 🥰" "guapito 🥰"

This other you just seems so, VIBRANT and she's introducing herself and shaking hands and she sees Peter B, "oh my god you have a baby, I'm so happy for you, she's so cute!" And she's hugging him, and you watch Peter B's eyes go kind of wide and he looks down, "OH, you're like--" and Other You just kind of laughs and parts her coat, showing off her rounded tummy, "haha yeah, there's a baby in there! Number 3, we're so excited! 🥰" and you're just. Simultaneously feeling some sort of fucked up combination of the most visceral and extreme discomfort you've ever felt in your entire life and also some kind of. Envy. Because she has everything you thought you didn't want and she seems so, SO fucking happy, with a husband who loves her, she clearly loves her babies, and she's being accepted by all of your friends instantly, like they're all gathered around talking as you're just, basically on the outside of the circle, actively putting up distance, only standing around because, uh hey guys weren't we supposed to be doing something--

Your skin is crawling as Other You uses her own watch from her husband to zip back to her own dimension and comes back with her babies on each hip, twins that she's just so happy to introduce to her new friends, who are SUPPOSED to be YOUR friends, "THIS one is Gabriella, and this one is Gabriel. Aren't they so cute? 🥰 theyre both so chunky they almost killed me but it was SO worth it" And once she realizes you're you, or, you're her, she wants to immediately chat you up and be buddy-buddy and goes to hand one of her babies to you and you. Refuse. Absolutely refuse. Suddenly you're the pariah of the group, both Miguels are sending you looks. Why are you being so fucking rude? Just put your arms out??? But you won't. You're just, soul-suckingly disgusted by this entire scenario. Not only is it putting an unspoken pressure onto you, but, seeing this other you be so fucking happy AND accomplishing all the things your "friends" have been badgering you about makes you feel SO indescribably insecure

Fine. Let it be like a revolving door. Another you enters Spider Society, one of you leaves. But you're so bitter and hurt you can't help but get in a jab at her, wanting to tarnish her "fake" happiness, feeling so personally hurt and offended by her very presence and existence in the room. "Hey so wouldn't your babies also be Spiders and have to suffer through the canon events too? And since you don't have any other family members, your kids' canon events might be YOU or Miguel dying? Aren't you glad you gave birth to your kids only to die and leave them without a mom and dad and forever doom them to a narrative where they can never make their own choices and are cosmically destined to be unhappy just because YOU wanted a cute baby? Sorry I guess I'm just built different. Hey remember how when we were little girls and we used to feel like mom only gave birth to us because she wanted someone who would love her and we resented her for bringing us into the world to have such a harsh life, aren't you so happy that's EXACTLY how your kids are going to feel about YOU?"

Mom!You is instantly bursting into tears and holding her little belly for comfort as her husband looks ready to tear you to ribbons, FURIOUS, all the healthy people in the room understandably disappointed and upset with you, like what the FUCK girl, meanwhile you're opening up a portal to your home dimension and just chucking your watch straight into the floor. "Keep this. I won't be coming back" while everyone is kind of dismissive of how truly upset you are, kind of just like "come on, don't be like this 🙄" like you're throwing a tantrum when in actuality you're going home and are seriously considering selling Osborne or Doc Ock all of your radioactive eggs. You'll always be YOU before you're a Spider, and if they want to force you to put The Job above yourself your entire life, they're dead wrong.

Meanwhile after you leave, pulling each other aside for privacy, Miguel2 is asking your Miguel why he's risking breaking his own canon by not wife-ing you up yet and comparing notes from all of the other dimensions where you and him are together as your Miguel is shocked by the sheer number of same occurrences. Miguel is all on about, "what does this even mean, we're from entirely different dimensions", and Miguel2 over here just unapologetically, "so? My wife is also from another dimension, I just took her, she got used to it, it's totally fine bro, it's canon, just do it, just do whatever you want. it's fine bro I'M TELLING YOU--" and maybe even Mom!You is so, sucked into her own "it's ok I was initially forced into this because I'm happy now" world that she's even advocating, "oh gosh if I was her I'd be SO lonely, hearing how you two aren't even that close, especially not anymore, and you've all been avoiding her, and she doesn't even have a baby to care for and give her love 🥺 most 'me's are at least dating right now, so, i bet she's feeling so much pain, she NEEDS YOU right now 🥺"

Peter B is sent to give you another watch and tell you, it's ok, you can come back, they promise they're not gonna bug you about dating and stuff anymore, and you're just all "nah, I'm ok! :) you can keep it :) I've had enough of you guys :) dont let the door hit your ass on the way out :)" meanwhile Miguel 1 and 2 are comparing strategies, "see, when MY wife was refusing to come back to me, what I did was..."

[canonically47]

As a way of saying goodbye to DC, what are your headcanons for where everyone ends up after All Stars?--review anon

ooooo such a cute question!!!!!! tysm for this

yul ends up being cancelled on his socials and he has to start working a regular job, he becomes miserable being yelled at and harassed by customers like he deserves yippee!

riya is also cancelled following the events of DCAS - seriously she CANNOT gain a following after this and she cannot find roles, realistically speaking - but she manages to sustain herself with her prize money for now. however, she does begin job hunting. it goes horrible for her, her digital footprint is too massive to ignore.

ashley continues living her quiet life on the farm with will, occasionally meeting up with lill & nick, as well as with jake, ally, lake and other contestants of DCAS! she even eventually reaches out to season 1 contestants left out, and organizes a get-together for the season 1 cast with everyone :)

ally, hunter & tess all eventually get together after a lot of denial and pining, and co-manage their channels. they become more and more popular, regularly attend cons, & overall just lead the awesome lives they deserve. tess also becomes popular for her art!

lake eventually gets into a qpr & goes to university to study psychology. she keeps in contact with aiden, james and friends she's made on DCAS. she goes on to live with rosa-maria after university, and the two will organize, years later down the line, a meet-up for the cast of season 2, even being kind enough as to invite yul and riya, although neither show up.

miriam gets to enjoy retirement by travelling around the world, sometimes even tagging along with friends, even with the group of james, aiden, lake and rosa-maria. why not :3

james & aiden continue travelling the world together, growing their following on social media, and eventually aiden pursues a career in theatre and earns a lot of success! i mean have you HEARD his VA sing. my god, can he sing.

ellie & gabby lead a happy life with ellie as an artist and gabby carries them with her income by becoming an environmental scientist !!

fiore moves in with alec, alec adopts fiore, and the two unlearn their bad habits together; alec, his bad parenting, and fiore, being this evil gremlin child. she still has her outbursts, but alec stops feeding into this idea that she is a monster or a mistake and pushes her to grow. the two also meet up with some other contestants, and eventually befriend rosa-maria, so she helps a lot with parenting tips :)

grett becomes a gym trainer & fitness influencer and uses her social media platform to encourage and lift up others. my queen

jake and tom begin dating and they talk a lottttttt of things out... and eventually tomjajakeden becomes a thing & they all move in together and it's awesome. tom and aiden aren't dating but the rest of them all are and it's kinda funny actually. tom also realizes he's aroflux and that explains a lot about how his identity has impacted his love life. they're unstoppable

also tom quits his job as a cop and becomes a firefighter instead. and gets an autism diagnosis. also jake gets a BPD diagnosis. and aiden gets a shit ton of piercings. and tom gets fatter. and james also gets a shit ton of piercings. and they're all happy together and they have movie nights and game nights and they love each other a lot

the cast generally meets a lot, the casts even merge at one point despite some of them never having been on DCAS. it's so funny how some of these guys meet. deadass alec and fiore go camping one night only to find they've come at the same camping site as kai and maggy. another time gabellie runs into dan at a bookstore. and so forth. they eventually get a super large groupchat and it's hilarious. they all meet sometimes and they have to book a huge venue it's so funny

also gabgrellie becomes real too why not. i love gabgrellie. grett moves in with them and they're all super cool and awesome and in love

maybe i should write some of these hmmm

[deeism]

it fascinates me how fundamentally similar dennis' relationship with mac is to his relationship with dee. not necessarily how mac and dee respectively view him, but the ways that he views both of them are so incredibly similar to each other it's kind of insane. it all comes down to dennis needing to be needed and being afraid to relinquish his grip on two people that, at one point or another, have come to terms with the fact that they might be better without him (or at least without him as a centerpoint in their life). there are a lot of examples of this but the one that sticks out to me the most is the direct parallels between FVR & the gang broke dee. for example:

in the gang broke dee, dennis can't stand to see his sister succeeding without him, so he tries to pair her up with a man to settle down with. in his words, this is in order to "take [her] off of our hands forever." his clearer-than-day reason for doing this is less about actually removing dee from his life (however much he pretends to idealise this) and more about keeping her under his control. he's forcing her into a decision that he approves of rather than doing what she wants—thus taking back an independence that dennis tries his best to hold over her head. he insults her attempts at pursuing her dream career—not because he can't stand to see her succeed, but because he can't bear the idea of her succeeding without him. and this is a common theme throughout the show—dee's success is reliant on her joint success with dennis (which is something i have a lot to say about by itself, but that's for another day). her independence inevitably results in ridicule and failure, often because of dennis' manipulation. he tries his best to keep her reliant on him and convinces her she doesn't have anything without him, because he doesn't know what he would do if she realized he's only her brother. this is pretty obvious throughout the show if not explicitly stated—and, formulaically, dennis usually wins whatever mind game they're playing with one another.

but in TGBD, he loses. in his attempts to make her stay he only pushes her away from him further and inevitably ends up groveling at her feet. we don't see this specific sort of desperation from dennis a lot, but when dee is getting on the plane, he genuinely admits that he was wrong and that he loves her. he knows he's about to lose her and he has to compensate for it. it's a rare moment of vulnerability for him.

all that said, when it comes to dennis, it's impossible to extricate the genuine from the manipulative. he's such an untrustworthy person that he's almost manipulating dee without trying to despite the truth in his words. when he tells her "you can succeed, you will be a star" he isn't lying, necessarily, but the rest of his confession says it all: "you have to take me." the unspoken goes: you can succeed, as long as i'm there. you can follow your dreams, but you can't catch them without me. and because he can't just admit to needing her, this is what he resorts to instead. the truth is that dennis needs dee in his life so badly that he would practically have nothing without her, but the most obvious way that this manifests is that he needs to be needed by her. to be relied on, in dennis' understanding, is to be loved.

that was very long and convoluted but unfortunately i'm not done. i feel like dennis' relationship to mac in frank vs. russia is less explicitly spelled out for us than in TGBD, but there are a shit ton of similarities between the two. to begin with, it's pretty well established by like s15-16 that mac's crush on dennis has died down, and in FVR he's actively moved on and is dating other people. dennis should, supposedly, be fine with this, based on how he's previously reacted to mac's romantic advances. he was uncomfortable with mac even touching him for a while, and mac continued to violate that boundary—it would make sense for dennis to be pleased that he's moved on. except that he obviously isn't. when it's finally revealed that dennis is johnny, he says he's only doing it to get mac out of the apartment, but this is an almost embarrassingly seethrough lie because. dude. there are other ways to get your roommate to leave the house than sexually manipulating him via remote controlled anal beads.

johnny is a mask dennis wears in order to keep mac directly in his orbit—to prevent him from moving on and finding love with someone else. dennis may not be ready to address the fact that he has any kind of feelings for mac that aren't anger and hatred—at least, not as himself—but that doesn't stop him from manipulating mac into staying in love with him. not only this, but johnny allows dennis to be vulnerable through text in ways he can't possibly be on the regular; he's afraid to be. we've never seen johnny and mac's texts but there was obviously a level of intimacy there that mac and dennis have never properly shared. through johnny, dennis is able to confront how he feels about mac without actually having to address it as the truth. once again, his manipulation and genuineness are inextricable from each other. it's impossible to tell where the love begins. sound familiar?

that's what it all comes down to. dennis treats the people he loves the most in all of the same ways: he tries to control them. when he has them, he pushes them away, towards other people, but when they actually relent he panics and tries to reel them back in. he idealises a life without them but in reality he'd probably crumble. so he attempts to prevent them from finding other relationships or any viable options apart from staying with him. it's textbook abuse and manipulation, obviously; something being "out of love" doesn't mean that it's good or even justifiable in any way. but it does come from a genuine fear of being rejected by dee and mac—the two people he is actually afraid of losing. dennis is too afraid to treat them with kindness because that would mean opening up his heart and running the risk of getting hurt, but he's afraid to let them go because without them, what does he have? the only option in his mind is cruelty. it's a strange kind of symbiotic relationship, this weird mix of mutualism and parasitism, where clinging on is the only option.

[purplecatghostposts]

Do you have any headcanons on what Brian, Alex and Jay’a backstory’s are like?

I personally give them dark back stories and that’s why they we’re so easily manipulated

I mean honestly I think they were easily manipulated because they were just regular guys before! I do have some details of their backstories (including pre-MH stuff) that I stick with though:

Brian

- Single mother and only kid. Dad skipped out, Brian resents him more than his mother does because she doesn’t like to waste time thinking about him

- Brian and his mother were close, he called her pretty frequently. His missing poster was the first to go up when he stopped responding

- In at least two scenes showing Pre-MH, nobody knows where Brian is despite him being needed for a scene in one and them hanging out at his house for another. Because of this, I often HC that Brian was frequently losing time and waking up in weird places due to the Operator around this time. Not wanting to worry anyone however, he kept this to himself and always tried to play it off as something else

- While Brian and Tim were never officially roommates, they talked about it a lot and planned to do it next semester, though unfortunately never got that far

- Brian has been openly bisexual since he was young, even if he didn’t have a label for it back then. He got some shit for it, most of it being pretty backhanded stuff considering he was popular

- He met Alex during Freshman Orientation at college and immediately clocked him as bisexual before Alex officially came out to him

- While Brian is a popular guy and gets along with a lot of people, he only has a few close friends because he chooses them wisely. He had a handful of not so great ‘friends’ in High School that he’s no longer in contact with and is subtly wary with most relationships going forward

Alex

- Didn’t fully realize he was bisexual until High School but stayed deep in the closet until he could move out

- His family (of which Alex is the third kid of four) is largely shitty on top of being homophobic, especially his father, and he cuts off all contact when he moves out for college. He didn’t tell them what college he was going to either, leaving in the middle of the night

- The only family he IS in contact with and has a good relationship with is his cousin and his husband, as they’re the only other gay people in the family (though technically disowned, not that Alex cares) and have always been more of a family to Alex than his actual one. They got really worried when Alex sends Rocky up to live with them but they take good care of Rocky. When he drops off the map, they are the people who eventually call in a missing person report for him

- Alex got Rocky in High School and took him with him when he left. When shit goes on with the Operator, Alex sends Rocky to live with his cousin out of fear that something will happen to him if he doesn’t. Rocky outlives Alex because of this.

- Alex met Amy in a shared class in his Freshman Year. They end up dating about three months after but eventually in her second year, Amy ends up transferring to a different college in order to pursue her degree as the other college had better options. They remain long distance and visit each other as much as they can

Jay

- Him and his Moms have always been the odd ones out in their town so Jay was pretty used to the idea that people were always gonna find something to dislike about him no matter what he did and he might as well be himself if that’s the case

- Openly gay for as long as he can remember

- Didn’t really have a whole lot of friends growing up but fortunately while enduring some bullying, also knew how to snap back in a way to make them back off. Eventually everyone knew to just leave him alone

- His family, while living comfortably, has always been careful with money, causing Jay to pick up the same habits. He saved a ton of money before college and always has at least a dozen of coupons in his wallet

- When Jay stops answering calls, his moms went looking for him themselves. They’re used to only relying on each other so they don’t bother with the police. They find answers, just not the ones they want, but Tim is always welcomed to the Merrick Household. No matter how much he blames himself, they know otherwise. Call it mother’s intuition.

- Jay had a TON of cats growing up so he’s very friendly with them and can spout Cat Facts at any given moment

[kiwibirdlafayette]

Its Gays on A Boat! (working title)

There's a multiversal threat, and theres only one group of idiots that can stop it! Its taking out the S1 Mianite world and its comin for the rest of the universes in the vast SMP Multiverse o nooo

Mianite spin off pitch; Post DSMP; canon divergent. uhh fills in what Sonja was up to during Isles and after the fact. mostly just random ideas i had i cant write prose for shit

A few years after S2 Sonja and Wag get kinda left behind. Tom returns to Astrakheins with Alice to find himself, Jordan depressedly goes off to become a pirate, Tucker leaves the universe to pursue other things

The two of them end up gettin into more powerful magics outta boredom (which Martha doesnt really like all that much) and in her explorations, Sonja stumbles upon the idea of necromancy. i dont have it fleshed out but. she talks to Philza (whos in the S1 world with Techno, pre-SMP Earth) who introduces her to Kristen. exploration of Capsizes limbo and basically she brings back Capsize

Canonically SMPEarth takes place right before Isles. and uhh While Jordan and Tom have reunited when Martha and Alice send the two back in time to investigate x thing idk i didnt finish the series yet (Mianitian Isles) Sonja is kinda just tryna help Capsize find herself again bc she didnt come back right (big ol memory issues). Post Isles Tom ends up on their boat with no idea where Jordan went (spoiler: bro ended up in the End of the DSMP, pulled there by XD) Jordan gets involved with the DSMP Syndicate bc of Phil and Techno

((theres a gap in story here but tldr; before the nuclear bomb that resets the server goes off, the trio find Jordan and take him and Tubbo- maybe also Ranboo and Michael- onto the boat and they fuck off to.... somewhere. Phil and Techno have their own way out i personally like the Syndicate ending Phil wrote i dont wanna mess with it))

A lot of it kinda focuses on the four reconnecting and repairing their faults of the past and a continuation of this multiversal threat that Jordan was investigating on the DSMP which i cant really explain yet. basically think world historian but a lot worse with quintessence stuff

like Jordan trying to make it up to a Capsize for how he treated her, but who doesn't remember him that well, Jordan reconnecting with his son that he basically had to abandon when the Realm of Mianite was falling apart, the tension between Sonja and Tom, where Sonja has kinda been Capsize's friend all this time while he was gone and regretting not being around, Tom helping Capsize through this revival state relating his own experience where he cant remember the ghosts of his past life all that well- and more!

also shenanigans. tons of mianite-style silly shenanigans cause we love some absolute 180 contrast in these damn things

other maybe plot points

Furia. yea theyre back

redbeard coping with the fact his sister is back. havent decided how much she remembers of him for angst reasons >:]

if i stick to ranboos canon ending for their character, them finding ranboo in the nether at some point

tom really leaning into the godhood of bein mecha dianite

meeting their origins alts from starborne kingdom of dianite when the timelines start to get fucky and blended together

motanite returns, and most of the Ruxomar Alts (including Spark whos been in the vast expanse with S2Ianite and comes back to roast Jordan)

Waglington. just waglington.

ok thats it for now. ill take questions i guess i know its very disorganized bc im still writing OSMP stuff and im tryna to not do two at once

[tarynisbunhead]

Alright so back in November I had someone contact me over on Zazzle, back when I had the calendars up for sale. They liked my restored/colorized images and were impressed by my research on the newsies and movie stars.  They asked for an interview, I did some research and discovered this person released articles for The Oregonian, so I accepted.  This person, Tom, is a journalist and did several interviews in the past, so why the hell is it that an interview he set up, he forgot?  We rescheduled the next day and......phone reception was trash, which he knew that location had that problem but went anyway.  To be honest, I wanted to just call it off because I had better things to do than sit and wait for this fool to maybe call for another interview, but my ex was excited with the idea of me being interviewed so I agreed to reschedule.  On the third day, Tom and I were able to get the interview done.  We talked about my restoration work, my work as a historian and in silent film.  I didn’t like that when we started talking about my job as a historian he kept bringing up other people, and talked like they knew history 1000x better than I did.  I know what I know and continue to learn everyday, what the hell?  Anyway, before parting ways he let me know he'd keep me posted.  That never happened.

January rolled around and I contacted Tom, asking how things were going.  He told me The Oregonian wasn't interested in my story because Longview was too far away......................what?  Okay first of all The Oregonian has run tons of stories on colorizers and their work over the years, why would mine be any different?  Second, my location has literally nothing to do with my art.  So if The Oregonian rejected my story, I don't believe it was for THAT reason.  In fact, I don’t believe the newspaper rejected me IF they were told about me because my hometown is celebrating 100 years, that would be an opportunity I would think.  So I’m just putting it out there that Tom never told The Oregonian about my story.  Tom did assure me he had another ace up his sleeve, there was a magazine he was affiliated with called Old Stuff Magazine.  And again he went silent.  Why am I the one who constantly has to contact him?

Last night I sent an email that basically asked "It's been seven months, you had a plan, what's going on?"  As angry as I was, I didn't use nasty language or hostile wording, just came right to the point.  Tom took it way too personal, and at the same time exposed himself in his response.  He said that he pursued the story as far as he could.......okay if you hit a dead end why not just contact me and be fucking honest about it?  Say "Hey sorry but I can't find anyone who wants to print the story" but instead there was this need to hide information from me.  He then went on to say he offered my story to publishers pro bono out of respect to my work - Are you serious right now?!  Pro bono means free of charge, you didn't even get in touch with me and discuss that!  Also what publishers did you talk to?  So far the only places you've told me about are The Oregonian and Old Stuff Magazine, so unless you give me business names you're straight up lying.  Holy shit I know the scam, I used to tell my parents "I went to stores and asked for applications", that really meant I went to two stores.  Oh and then he ended it with "Some stories just don't pan out.  Given the tone of your message, this will definitely be one of them."  In other words, he got caught putting my story on the back burner and doing nothing with it.  All I did was ask a question, no hostility or profane language and Tom went full blown unprofessional by trying to make it out like I attacked him and he's the victim.  Fuck off dude.  It’s been seven fucking months.

I found his Facebook two months ago and he posts a bunch of newspaper related memes, from Superman to anime.  He also posts about going on assignment, on location, and there's posts of him going on family outings but there's NEVER talk about meetings with publishers.  Asshole got caught, he's not a victim in this at all.  How many months did it take for those other assignments to get released?  Probably not seven months.  All he had to do was contact me and let me know the truth, like a fucking professional but he didn’t do that. I thought about contacting The Oregonian, but they'd probably side with him and it'd be a huge waste of my time.  Anyway, here's what NOT to do if you're a journalist.

[soysaucevictim]

“it feels like my brain (was floating in a fishtank)”

(See warnings/summary on Ao3.)

[ Prologue/Start ] [ Previous ]

Chapter 3: Molecular Superstructure

Remus getting approached by Cass had started to become a regular thing.

One of those days alone at the beach, he was getting particularly restless from Hunger.

He asked Roman to drop him off this time. Remus wished he could do another heist with him. Roman really had a knack for making things run like a well-oiled machine, alongside him. Unfortunately, Roman was too busy making sure Vee wouldn’t rip their mother’s head off.

Remus was pretty sure that wasn’t the only reason for it – but his thoughts were too muddy to pursue. He had been pacing back and forth along the coastline, letting the waves wash over his feet. On one of his turns, Cass had basically appeared out of nowhere and was waving back at him. Cass called out, “Hello there!”

Remus was not feeling particularly social and didn’t respond immediately.

Cass didn’t seem to care about that, but noticed him fidgeting more than usual, “What’s wrong?”

“You seem to know a lot about this kinda shit, what do you think?”

Cass smiled, “So, what is that your soul craves right now?”

“Destapando el tamal.”

“Hm? No estoy familiarizado con ese dicho.”

Remus shrugged, “Eh, es más una cosa costarricense.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Wreaking havoc, you know the deal.”

“Well then, how about we go spice up some rich fogies’ lives? I know a place down in Newport...”

Remus blinked at them, smiling back in that usually terrifying way of his, “That’s waaay better than what I was thinking about doing. Wait. Which part of Newport?”

“I don’t want to spoil the fun, now do I?”

Remus had the barely perceptible thought to ask more questions, but his Hunger won out, “Lead the way!”

“Great! I can drive us there!”

Cass had a boring cream-colored sedan. In it were some scattered religious ephemera, a bible in the backseat and some rosary dangling from the rear view. Before the two disembarked, Cass folded away their cassock and collar, into the trunk. They then covered the clerical shirt underneath with a sleek trench coat and headed back to the driver seat. Before Remus could say anything, they chuckled, “Where we’re going, I need more… appropriate attire.”

It wasn’t a very long car ride, before they crossed city limits. Remus wondered if Cass was taking them to a bank or one of the many investment firms there. Instead, they drove toward one of the many yacht clubs that dotted the bay.

Before they left for the venue, Cass gestured at the glove box, “It might be a good idea to leave your breakables here, things might get a little rowdy.”

Cass stepped out and Remus shrugged, putting his phone away. The boathouse had tons of balloons, signage, and liquor in full view. The sound system was loud enough to rattle nearby cars. It was all for someone’s massive bachelor party. The names Kenny and Diane were plastered everywhere.

“If anyone asks, lie about your age and tell them you’re my plus one who ran a little late. I got you.”

Remus was a little daunted, surprised at himself for having ethical concerns about this, “How did you-? W-wait, doesn’t this go against some kind of... code for you?”

Cass seemed to play into Remus’s assumptions, with a suddenly serious tone:

“… some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains.”

“Ah, NOW you start dropping-”

Cass went back to that weird amiability thing again, “What I am saying here is… eat the rich.”

Never mind thinking about Janus, Remus gasped, “Sold.”

As they met the greeter at the entrance, Cass did the talking. Remus was starting to space out, until Cass pulled out a bag of pills from that coat. They were ushered in without any more questions.

Remus whispered to Cass, “Okay, what the hell was that?”

“What do you think it was?”

Remus quickly saw so many opportunities already and lingered in the pool area, first. He spotted someone who’d fallen asleep in one of the several chaise lounges out there. There was an empty bottle of beer to the side of him, one of those luxury cell phones resting on his chest, and looking pretty damn sunburned too.

Cass was mingling with the others, handing out an impressive variety of narcotics and smiling back at Remus a few times. One of the buzzed patrons pulled Cass toward the beer kegs excitedly.

Remus gave the lounge a shove toward the pool, with one of his tentacles. The man was out like a light, not registering it at all.

He took another look toward the tables, Cass had rifled through their coat and put something in the keg. The patron only looked like he approved of it and pointed at the others, too. Remus didn’t care to wonder exactly what it was, focusing again on Fancy Phone Guy.

Another shove. No one noticed it, not even when Remus threw his filthy tank top onto their face.

A third, and the foot of the lounge was teetering over the deep end. That got the target blearily stirring.

Remus cannon-balled within splashing distance of the hapless guest, basically screeching the entire way into the drink. In their confusion, they managed to topple the entire lounge into the pool. With a yelp, the furniture took the guest down with it and catapulted the phone halfway across the pool.

He yanked the lounge down into the water, for good measure.

Remus stuck around at the bottom of the pool staring at the guy flailing about. Remus cracked up, noticed that the device protected a small rectangle of skin from sunburn. The fear that wafted from the guy was thrilling.

That was until he started to look unable to stay above water and the lifeguard was nowhere to be seen. Remus savored the emotions a bit before hoisting up the guy over the pool’s wall. If he learned nothing else from Steve, actually having someone die was… unsatisfying.

He retrieved the phone and sat next to the guy after he recovered from the experience and was way more alert. “Hey, is this yours?”

“Y- WAIT. WERE YOU THE ASSHOLE THAT-!?”

Remus played ignorant as he swallowed down the whole device right in front of him. It was a funny feeling, whenever he brought his Horror out for stunts like that. It wasn’t like eating food with a real and lingering sense of fullness. A blip of it and then it disappears without a trace, transmuted into the stuff of dreams.

The guest was stunned and Remus loved it.

Remus cackled and waltzed around the place, ruining peoples’ days. A lot of designer accessories and electronics met their untimely ends. They couldn’t see his Horror acting on reality, and wouldn’t be able to pin most of it on him, anyways. He often took advantage of lapses in attention and judgment as more and more attendees got too inebriated to afford it. Many just thought of him as some kind of demented pool boy.

Some of them started to say some strange things that Remus decided to pin on the drugs. Sounded like a bad trip, with how delirious a few of the attendees seemed.

The spree and reverie was interrupted when he heard a beckoning whistle from Cass.

Remus followed, feeling far more focused than how he arrived, “What’s up?”

“You’ve had your appetizers, how about the main course?”

Dusk was approaching and the wind was picking up. Staff started setting up tiki torches throughout the venue. Cass eyed one of them, and elaborated, “Her Majesty, Anchor Management needs a little mood lighting, yes?”

Remus nodded along and walked up to one of them, “You need a hand?”

The staff member was clearly somewhere else, “Knock yourself out.”

As they grabbed the things, Remus asked Cass, “Is ANYONE else here sober?”

“Nope!”

A good number of the guests took the party onto the aforementioned yacht. Remus had a sense it was too many people for a craft its size. He wasn’t entirely sure if he saw any crew members as he was guided on to the aft deck. There were a few people mingling on the swim platform back there too, and it would be SO easy to dunk them right then and there.

Him and Cass found some railings to strap the torches onto and dispersed into the crowd. All Remus saw in this rig was what a lovely shipwreck this could be. Cass was on the same page, “Oh, your joy brings a smile to my face!”

It was still moored to the dock and swayed gently in place. He stared at the fenders protecting the boat and, one by one, dropped them without anyone noticing or caring. As they floated away to the tides, he also went along undoing the lines keeping the boat there.

Remus chilled out aft-side again as the tide rose, waiting for his moment. At least one person was knocked into the bay and got laughed at mercilessly. Someone else had the presence of mind to don a life jacket and scoop him up before disappearing into the darkening waters. Cass had joined in laughing at that guy, too. Remus wondered if Cass was sampling their own product, but they blended in so seamlessly here.

The boat’s sway was getting more pronounced, the music and crowd too loud to notice anything was amiss. Remus was halfway listening to it all:

Uh oh, overflow, population, common group But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right 

Remus felt a new low vibration run through the vessel and looked out port-side. The boat’s hull was getting a little too familiar with the dock, shamefully grinding away its pristine coat of wax and paint. Remus’s smile showed way too many teeth as the steel underneath became more and more visible.

He returned to the swim platform and “conveniently” knocked down a few of the torches along his way there. He barely overplayed his shock when the fuel spilled out into a fiery puddle on deck. The hazard was a bit larger than he expected, if he was being honest. He yelled out, “FIRE!”

There was certainly a mixed response. A couple more guys jumped off deck. A couple more were simply entranced by the fire. At least one person was frantically trying to figure out where the extinguisher was, clearly never having been through drills. One more ran around like a headless chicken, bumping a gawker off deck. One of the guys got weirdly existential, “Dude, what if there is no meaning in fire but suffering?”

One of them had enough cylinders firing to get suspicious of him running from the fire toward them, “Hhhey, the fuck are you going, boy!?”

Remus shouted as he ran past, “Away from fiery death. OF COURSE!”

He looked back before joining a few more of the lot in the drink, noticing Cass wearing a smile matching his own. Once overboard, he dove and swam below port and looked at the glistening scratch on the yacht. He did it again, feeling the ocean’s presence around him as he concentrated down its corrosive capability to eat through the breach and fast.

Roman still had the better sight than him, especially at distance and in good lighting. But Remus absolutely adored how he could easily see in the distorted, low light conditions of the water. 

The hull cracked and started to groan and Remus heard and saw it all. He was fluttering back and forth around the wound as it widened. He clapped like a seal down there and almost missed that he was passing the ship’s portholes. He snapped in on the face of a terrified crew member staring back at him.

Remus noticed his own eyes held a faint green glow, in the reflection. He gave them a soundless, but very much open-mouthed, “Hi!”

The crew member shook his head and blinked back. The eye contact broke to dart at the water rising around them. Moments after, they ran off into the cabin, presumably screaming their heads off.

The surge of euphoria was overwhelming, as everyone’s fear of confusion hit fever pitch above. He never really tried any of the stuff Cass was doling out, but this had to be even better than any of that. It was a dangerous amount of satiety, so he had to swim back to the boathouse before his Horror retreated too far out of reach.

He reunited with Cass at the boathouse and gleefully watched the ship listing more and more topside. Remus poured the last energy he could access into speeding things up a little, once everyone got out. It was a feast that kept on giving, as everyone scrambled to dry ground and watched it sink right there in front of them all.

The guest of honor to this travesty arrived far too late. Kenny slammed a drink before chasing down every staff member he could about what happened here. He demanded an explanation they didn’t have. Kenny wasn’t in uniform, but he was waving around a badge at everyone, as if that’d help.

In the flurry, Kenny’s glare singled out Remus. Cass took the cue to whisper to him, “I think it’s time we took our leave.”

Remus had forgotten just how much time flew past, until he was back in Cass’s car and looking at his phone. Cass was jubilant once they reconvened, “Whew! I haven’t had that much fun since-!”

Remus didn’t register that, more focused on the worried messages from Roman he missed. They all basically said the same thing, “Hey, Taz! ‘Couldn’t find you at the beach? Where did you go? Stop ignoring me!”

He wasn’t really sure how to answer.

Cass glanced over, “Is something the matter, my naufragous friend?”

“… family. I should probably get back to them.”

“Sure thing! Care to tell me a little more about them?”

“That… was my brother. He’s like me-us? But-”

Cass’s eyes seemed to light up a moment at that. Remus just continued, “But my parents aren’t-”

“Yes?”

Remus thought about his mom’s run-in and hesitated, “They’re just- human.”

“Do they know about-?”, Cass gestured at themself.

He wondered if he should continue lying to Cass, it didn’t come easy to him. “No. No they don’t.”

“That’s- that’s good. I’m afraid your family would not approve of me, anyways.”

Remus briefly wondered about the rest of the brood’s feelings, too. He wasn’t ready to test those waters. There was an extended pause before Cass asked, “So, where would you like to be dropped off?”

Remus just wanted to reassure them he was fine, and Janus’s place was far far closer. “Uh. You can take me to any one of the Crystal Cove parks. I’ll let my brother know where to pick me up from there. If that’s okay?”

He wanted to respect Janus’s rules, as much as such things would normally make him balk.

“Hmm, I didn’t take you for the ritzy sort?”

Remus snorted, “I’m really, really not.”

Cass gave him a studying look before shrugging, “Okay, then.”

The ride “home-bound” was way quieter than the way to the yacht party.

-

Ellis wasn’t lying when he said the place was 24/7, the lights were on and it was after midnight. Vic wasn’t sure if the other mage was going to be there, but if not, he thought it would be interesting to check that tattoo parlor out.

He read the neon signage as he approached, “Mystical Serpent Inks, huh?”

Vic swore the place was familiar, for some reason. He was pretty sure that this was the place his sons went to get their ears pierced, for their eighteenth birthday. Roman liked to find some jewelry that was really his taste, but was indecisive about keeping it open. Remus had taken the route of earlobe stretching, come to think of it, he was able to do that faster than most without injury.

The door chime clanged and Vic looked at the gallery of flashes and portfolio pieces covering every inch of the walls. Most of it was black and gray, animals both real and “mythical”, and lots of geometric shapes. The mastery was gorgeous and left him in awe.

He was startled out of his reverie by the receptionist’s sedate greeting, “You’re a new face, want to schedule a consult or-?”

They wore a name tag that read, “Oscar R.”.

“Is Ellis busy, right now?”

Oscar got up and yelled into the next room, “HEY. CROFT, YOU LISTENING? You gotta visitor!”

Vic heard a groan and a muffled response, “… I’d appreciate keeping my hearing, thank you very much.”

The receptionist grumbled, “I wonder about that, sometimes.”

Ellis made his way into the waiting area, irritated, “Now, what is it?”

Vic waved, “Uh, did I catch you at a bad time?”

Ellis evened out, “No, you’re not interrupting anything. Business tends to be slow, at this hour. Care to follow me to the break room?”

“Sure?”

Vic followed Ellis through the procedure area, appreciative of the place being so well-kept. When they got to the break room, another employee was leaning against a wall, watching them. They appeared closer to Vic’s age, in a black leather jacket and had quite the magnetic appeal. They tipped down their sunglasses at Vic and then Ellis, “Babes, who’s he?”

Vic was about to properly introduce himself, “I’m V-”

Ellis shook his head and spoke, “A new addition to the brood, the twins’ father. Another mage who- is quite new. I promised to teach him some things.”

This other coworker snorted and got flirty, “Oh, I wonder what your scorecard is gonna look like with Teach, here.”

Vic sensed there was something decidedly missing in this coworker, a presence he was used to in most of the company he kept. But he couldn’t quite place it. Vic simply gave a sly smile back, “You aren’t that bad looking, yourself. Alas, I’d hate to disappoint you, I’m spoken for.”

Ellis groaned, “Lachance, please .”

Lachance rolled their eyes, “Whatever, this bitch gotta top up on her latte.”

Lachance gave Vic a flirty smirk, one where Vic swore he saw an actual fang peeking through. The coworker turned around to dramatically leave, before he could make sure. That left the two mages alone in the break room. 

Vic spoke first, “Why’d you stop me from-?”

“Names have immense power, especially in supernal matters.”

“… like fairies?”

“Don’t even get me started on the Gentry.”

“W-wait, those are real too?”

“Yes. But, there’s more to the Names matter here. Say, imagine being an assassin.”

“Whoa, I’m a lover not a-”

Ellis smacked his own face, “Moving on. You know how they usually have a detailed briefing on their missions?”

Vic nodded.

“True Names give spells a far clearer target. What I’m getting at is this – I highly recommend you conjure a new name, for camouflage.”

“So. Ellis isn’t your real name? What is-?”

Ellis blinked a few seconds, “What did I just say?”

Vic erupted into laughter, a bit more subdued than Remus’s but the resemblance was there, “S-sorry, Mr. Croft.”

“I may furnish that information at a later date, if I come to trust you enough. However, is there anything that’s stirring for you? I understand if you’d like more time to reflect, it’s an important de-”

“Hmm, I like the sound of Val!”

“Oh. Like Saint Valentine or Valerius?”

Vic wore a shit-eating grin, “Yes.”

“You know what? I am not going to attempt to divine what in the Lead Coin you meant there.” Ellis huffed, “I have some other matters to discuss with you, Val.”

“Hopefully something less boring.”

“You could say that. Do you recall what the symbols you saw looked like?”

“Sort of?”

“If you desire, I can incorporate them into a piece for you. It may help in your studies.”

“What if I misremembered anything?”

“Then, I recommend you should seek clarity in meditation. Perhaps on the sensations you felt?”

Vic smirked, “Better than what I was thinking about.”

“I think I will withhold asking about that.”

Vic snorted as they continued discussing a few things before parting ways.

-

Remus was on Cloud Nine after the yacht party adventure and was looking forward to the coverage on it, with bated breath.

Pacing around Janus’s estate, he couldn’t help but laugh spontaneously at various snippets of the affair replaying in his brain. It was one of those habits a lot of kids pointed out about him, growing up. Never mind that he did notice everyone else seemed to do that every now and then, too. Maybe he just did it more often or something. He never cared to ask or remember.

He didn’t realize he was being followed until he double-backed on his unplanned route around the place. Patton stood there with a huge smile, Remus hardly ever saw him without one, upon recollection. “What’s up, Pipsqueak?”

“’Heard some laughing, wanted to see why!”

Remus snorted, “Oh. I just had a little fun recently.”

“Oooh, like when Vee has a good day at his job!”

“I don’t think I’ve seen the guy smile, like, once.”

Patton giggled, “Yeah, ever-body says he’s real sour but-”

Remus nodded along, amused by what the kid said next, “They’re right.”

Remus laughed and Patton giggled some more. Before Remus could remark, Patton talked more, “Vee dared me to try that candy with the ‘splodey cartoon face? I wanted to spit it out so bad!”

Remus imagined Patton’s face all scrunched up and uncomfortable, amused. “Warheads?”

“YEAH! Like that! But… Vee’s kinda like those things, I think.”

“So, you toughed it out?”

Patton nodded eagerly, and got a little shouty, “It was really sweet after a while. I really really really like them now!”

It was then that Remus realized they were standing just outside of that Ellis guy’s study. Mostly because the door next to them opened up to a very grumpy looking nerd. “What in- Pat! Indoor voice. I’m very busy!”

Remus knew that look, Patton tried to appear apologetic but he really wasn’t. That was full-on a shit-eating grin he was wearing, before wiping it off in front of Ellis.

Remus then rolled his eyes at Ellis, having hardly ever seen him around either, “When are you not?”

Ellis’s look of exasperation at Remus was priceless, “Gods, dealing with your father has been a handful enough.”

“What’s that about Daddy Dearest?”

“That man keeps egging on one of my coworkers and asking irrelevant and distracting, personal questions!”

Remus snorted, “Yep. That definitely sounds like him. How’s uh, that mage stuff going?”

Ellis sighed, “To be determined. Do you have anything else to discuss, before I return to my studies?”

After a moment, Remus asked, “How’d you meet Janny?”

“I’m only going to say that it wasn’t long after my Awakening. I don’t have time to get into everything with you right now. Perhaps later?”

Remus was a little disappointed, “Fiiine.”

When Ellis turned back and closed the door, Patton trotted up to Remus to whisper rather loudly, “It’s SO embarrassing.”

“Oh, you got some dirt, kid?”

Patton nodded and started blathering to Remus about all manner of magical mishaps Ellis had. It wasn’t clear which one of them involved Janus, but it was pretty amusing.

-

The twins were going to Janus’s estate every few days.

Janus did tell them that they were free to take the rooms in the guest wing on the top floor as their own, if they so wished. Remus didn’t mind making himself home in either place, for the most part. He was simply happy to be with his family.

Roman was still attached to his room, his home in Santa Ana. He wasn’t committed to moving his treasure to the estate, his home’s gate to his Lair strengthened in a moment of desperation. When Steve almost-

“Hey, Robro! I want you to catch the local news before you go!”

Roman raised an eyebrow, “Okay, but I need to go Feed soon…”

Remus dragged his brother into a nearby entertainment room. He plunked him onto a chaise lounge more expensive than both the cars their family owned and turned on the TV. The thing was bigger than the ones they saw at Steve’s place.

It wasn’t long before the reporter was on location at the yacht club Remus and Cass upturned. Dani Wexler always had a strange glint in her eyes, doing her job, “I’m here with the Rear Commodore, Gastón-”

For different reasons, the twins chuckled about that.

Dani continued speaking, “-Flores...and district chief of police, Wayne White. Chief, care to tell us what happened the day before yesterday?”

The officer cleared his throat, looking barely composed, “We still need to investigate the cause of Anchor Management’s sinking. Fortunately, there was no one significantly harmed. We have thanks to the harbor team that worked tirelessly yesterday, pulling the craft up for forensics. There were some odd details of the event that makes it unclear yet if this was a fluke or a more intentional act. We don’t have any suspects, currently.”

Dani pointed the mic to the rear commodore, “How about you? What can you tell us about what led to this?”

The man tried hard to stay composed, but he was shaking like a leaf. “Y-yes, well. This happened during a bachelor party for the commodore’s grandson, Kenny, Kenny Morton. He invited a lot of guests and things got a little rowdy. As one might expect.”

The chief was almost scowling at the rear commodore, as he spoke. 

Her gaze was piercing, “Do you believe the attendees had something to do with this?”

“I-if that were the case-.”

“Isn’t managing social events such as this part of your job description?”

“Y-yes, but-!”

Remus started grinning about the guy sweating bullets, commenting to Roman, “That guy is SO fired.”

Roman looked on, impressed by the scene, “As terrible as it is to say, you really outdid yourself this time.”

“Yeah, it was even MORE fun than the dealership escapade!”

What followed was a fragmented retelling of the events of the party. Remus filled in some of the blanks but left out mentioning Cass to Roman. Roman had a look of worry, “How did you wind up over there though?”

“Uh… the bus?”

“I don’t think the buses run that late?”

Remus swallowed nervously, “Okay. I hitchhiked.”

Roman’s eyes widened, “¡Qué va! ”

Remus pretended to be more flippant as he spoke, “Yeah, I decided to go see the place and fuck some shit up, that’s all. Todavía estoy viva y pateando, so-”

Roman gave a heavy sigh, “You better be glad I covered for you.”

Remus’s smile subdued, but he was sincere in his response, “Thanks, Ro.”

The story continued playing out and Remus was savoring it all once more, seeing new and emotional accounts of it. The last people in the segment to be interviewed were a surprise couple of guests – the man and woman of honor.

Kenny was all kinds of irate, “They forgot to tell y’all that that boat was SUPPOSED to be my DOWRY. And-and-”

Diane hushed him with a smile, “Shhh, I’ll smooth it over with my people, alright? We still have the big day coming up! This is just a tiny wrinkle, I promise it’s all just going to be perfect, dear.”

There was something off about that smile, but Remus couldn’t place why.

Kenny seemed to pacify, “If you say so, Princess.”

Diane’s whispers were barely caught on the mic, “Not for long.”

Both the twins got a little uncomfortable about the public display of affection threatening to play out on camera. Thankfully, Dani cut in again, “You heard it here, folks. Stay tuned for further updates on the investigation. Now, the weather-”

-

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[ Next ]

[hahanoiwont]

some fic ideas i’m either writing or outlining rn:

-continuation of Aurora Borealis, showing where everyone ended up and how they’re gonna deal with that. survival drama focusing on friendship, determination, and the weird place that frisk holds in the world as the final fallen human.

-oneshot series that follows underfell!frisk on a loose journey through many different undergrounds, comparing the characterizations of their friends through different universes and also through the changing point of view of a child growing into a teen and then a young adult. probably focuses on their relationship with various sanses, but papyri keep sneaking into my ideas, so we’ll see. themes of forgiveness, learning to trust, and recovery

-action/spy movie type thing that follows ambassador!frisk, sans, and alphys through a treacherous plot to frame monsters for a terrible crime; while on another level frisk struggles with their strong pacifist ideals, flaws in the people they look up to, and the question of what they would do to protect the people they love.

-another work in the LIFE ‘verse, sort of a what-if for if the events of The Price Is LIFE didn’t happen, and Frisk decided on a plan that’s more sensible on the outset but ends worse for them ultimately. Ensemble fic following the monsters as they try to understand a world that they weren’t prepared for and track down the human best equipped to help them navigate it.

-the original script of The Price Is LIFE, before I decided to do an audience interaction portion

-oneshot where frisk learns magic; mostly character development, tbh. chara-cter development. could be in the same universe as Trying Out a Maybe?

-oneshot where frisk adamantly avoids doctors’ appointments because they’re technically kind of dead, fam. looks at some of the weird stuff that frisk does in-game (sleeps for only a few minutes at a time, moves only at a walking pace even when undyne is trying to kill them, etc.) and mashes it with my own theories.

-go back over literally any of these or my other existing fics and do the same scenes from a different perspective, or put LIFE ‘verse or Maybe!verse’s Frisk and/or Chara into the situation of a different fic (ie Aurora Borealis, spy movie fic, w/e) to see how they would change the outcome

Obviously I’m not writing 7 or more separate fics, because i’m not totally crazy. but these are my most persistent, prevalent ideas in the undertale fandom rn, so i’ll probably write some of them.

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Weddings and Funerals | Diego Hargreeves x Reader

Prompt: Wedding

Words: 1307

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Summary: Not exactly the best circumstances to meet your future in-laws. Takes place during S1. Continuation oneshots here.

-

“What do you mean you can’t make it?” you yelled at your fiance.

Diego winced, pulling the phone away from his ear. “It’s not like we have a big ceremony planned. We’re just going to be signing some papers.”

You sighed. “I know, but… what happened, Di? Is everything alright?”

He leaned back in his chair as he thought of how to answer. He had already patched up the small cuts he had sustained and had the time to stop by a sandwich shop on his way home. There was something he had to make sure, though. The image of his old man appeared on the TV screen again, words running along the bottom only confirming what he had seen earlier that night.

“My old man is dead,” he finally said, “I don’t know how or why, but… look, I have to look into this.” You were silent for a moment and during that time, he was worried that you’d hang up and never answer his calls again.

“I wanna be there with you,” you said.

“Honey, you can’t-” Diego was already shaking his head at the idea.

“We stick together, remember? You don’t always have to do things on your own. Let me help you, Di.”

He rubbed his face and sighed. “Okay. Okay, fine. Start packing your things and I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“You better,” you threatened, “Or I’ll kick your ass.”

“I know you will.” Diego smiled, then added softly, “I love you.”

It was something that he had struggled during the beginning of your relationship. He wasn’t one to express intimate emotions easily, especially due to how he was raised. He was convinced that he would have to do things on his own without being tied down to a cruel and controlling mad scientist and indifferent adopted siblings. That was until he met you.

Your first day of meeting each other was sparring in the ring and knocking him down on his back. From then on, he pursued you. Despite being together for a few years, you still lived separately. You had to move to the other side of town for work while Diego still remained in the basement of the boxing gym. The two of you made it work, though.

“I love you, too.”

-

Diego decided to go to the academy early, giving him time to look around the place before his siblings arrived. He already knew what they thought of his vigilante lifestyle and didn’t want to argue with them when he was busy investigating. On the way there, Diego gave you a brief summary on his siblings and what to expect from them. It seemed a lot to handle, but he spoke very fondly of his mother. You knew about The Umbrella Academy and had read Vanya’s book once, so you at least had an idea of what you were getting into.

“Not exactly how I wanted to meet the in-laws,” you said as he parked across the academy.

“Not sure if you should be meeting them at all,” he said.

He climbed out of his car and gazed up at the buildings that made up his childhood prison. The Umbrella Academy. He moved out as soon as he was old enough, getting jobs anywhere he could and finding his own apartment to live in. He was finally independent, but in his mind, he could never be truly free from what he had gone through growing up. And he was about to go in again.

“There’s a shit ton of rooms in the house, so you can pick one of them to sleep in,” he said, crossing the street.

“Or I can sleep in your room.”

He shook his head. “My room’s tiny compared to the others.”

“But there’s a shit ton of rooms and your old man is gone. You can pick a different room,” you suggested.

He looked back at you and smiled. “True. I’ll give you a quick tour first.”

It was crazy seeing the Umbrella Academy from the inside, a bunch of buildings carved out into one single mansion. He pointed out the areas where Reginald would have them run drills, the hiding spots that his siblings had found, everything that had a memory attached to it. He even introduced you to his mom, Grace, who, he admitted after walking away, didn’t seem to be all there.

Diego suggested staying put while he had gone around the house searching for something. Pogo had taken over what was left of the house tour and brought you over to one of the rooms next to the foyer. You stood in front of the “family portraits” noting how they still wore their masks. A big portrait above the fireplace was Five. You remembered Vanya mentioning him in their book and how they felt closer to him and Ben than the other siblings.

There was a paragraph you remembered where it seemed that Vanya and Diego had been close at one point as well, but the fact that he would always leave them to help their other siblings save the world made a rift between them. You never bothered to ask Diego about it. He was still upset that Vanya had put their life on blast, as if their father hadn’t paraded them around enough.

Diego eventually joined you, lounging on one of the couches as you waited. Gradually, the siblings arrived. Luther arrived first. Fresh from outer space, apparently. He was confused on who you were and why you were there, but Grace stood in front of you and greeted him, taking him away to have a shave. You had a feeling that this was also to prevent him and Diego from fighting.

Allison was next. She was an amazing actress and singer and you admired her range, both in acting roles and vocals. When she spotted you, she narrowed her eyes. Being a celebrity since she was young, she was understandably cautious about a stranger in her own home.

“I’m Diego’s… betrothed,” you said, offering her your hand.

“Huh,” she said, taking it, “I didn’t know Diego would ever settle.”

“Very funny, Allison,” Diego grumbled from the couch, “Did your divorce settle?”

“Diego!” you scolded him, slapping his leg. He whined, kicking at you lightly.

“Although it’s nice meeting you, I do think you can do better,” Allison said, sending a teasing smirk at Diego.

“Thank you,” You looked down at Diego who was glaring daggers at Allison, “But I think I’m good.”

“Suit yourself.”

The double doors of the entrance opened as Vanya slowly walked into the foyer. Allison quickly turned to greet them with a smile. You wondered how long it had been since either of them actually spoke to each other. Diego mumbled something under his breath, jumping off the couch and stormed past the pair.

“They shouldn’t be here! Not after what they did,” he said, stomping up the steps.

“Way to dress for the occasion!” Allison retorted.

“At least I’m wearing black.”

You sighed, staring after him before introducing yourself to Vanya. Their eyes widened when you told them of your relationship with Diego.

“Wow, that’s… congratulations,” they said. That seemed to be the running theme when it came to revealing that you were engaged with their brother.

“He’s a bit of a grumpy pants, but he’s also a big softy,” you said, making them laugh.

“I heard that!” Diego shouted from upstairs.

“Good!”

“Uh, when is the wedding?” Vanya asked.

You shrugged. “We were supposed to register for it today, actually.”

“Oh, my god, I’m so sorry,” Allison said with a frown, “My brother’s a dick, but the timing is pretty crap. I’d rather have met you in better circumstances.”

“Yeah, well… You know what they say about estranged siblings. You only see each other at weddings and funerals.”

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I was reading that story in Eleutherophobia where the Berenson extended family all gather and I'm wondering, do you have any thoughts/headcanons about the Berenson brothers' relationship? No, not Tom and Jake, but the generation before them: Steve, Dan, and George.

I do.  So much.

We don't know a ton about George (Saddler's dad) but the contrast between Dan (Rachel's dad) and Steve (Jake's dad) has always been striking to me.

Steve seems like this incredibly balanced guy: "Always nice. Always gentle. Joking with the kids and reassuring the moms and dads. Staying calm while the littler kids screamed bloody murder and vibrated the very walls" (#31). And it's not just sick kids he's that nice toward; when there's some guy screaming in his face and threatening to hit him over a parking spot, Steve remains level-headed and even comforts the dude when he gets upset over getting attacked by a cockroach (AKA Jake). Sure, Steve can be a clueless at times, tolerating some Weird Shit from Tom especially without showing any sign of worry that his kids are acting so erratic, but he's this responsible and steady dude.

Dan, on the other hand, is... flaky. Rachel says "My dad does these little outings where we all get together every second weekend. Sometimes it's just me and my dad... I don't get to see him as much as I wish I could" because "he cancels sometimes” (#7). We also find out that he talks openly about Rachel being his favorite child, which suggests the reason he doesn't always bring Jordan and Sara on his twice-a-month visits. Dan will buy Rachel room service (#12), but when she calls to say she's "not doing good", Dan responds "Have you talked to your mom? She's pretty good with this kind of stuff" (#32). He'll take her to the circus, but he expects her to cater to his emotional needs ("No, it wasn't pity or guilt... my dad was feeling lonely") without considering hers (#7). He puts the hard conversations on Naomi, letting her be the one to tell their kids about the divorce (#2), give them The Talk (#32), and announce that he's moving away (#7). Frankly, no wonder Naomi dumped him.

Also, look at their jobs. Steve's in a career that requires 12+ years of post-secondary education, and highly active in the lives of his own kids. Dan apparently spent years pursuing a gymnastics career that went nowhere ("almost made the Olympic team," #7) before pivoting to become a "hotshot" reporter, and still can only carve out two afternoons a month for his girls. Reporters are heckin useful to society, but it's also not a career that requires the same selfless consistency of effort as being a pediatrician.

Anyway, my headcanon to explain all that: their parents have traditional ideas about traditional roles. I'm thinking these are upper-class Yugoslavians who immigrated as teens, then were caught up in the assimilationist zeitgeist once in the U.S. The ‘rents emphasize the traditional role for the oldest child, AKA Steve. He's to provide for them in their old age, and therefore they need him to go the doctor-or-lawyer route. Steve is (like Jake) a rule-follower and a people-leader, never rebellious unless he has a good cause. Steve's also a nurturer who loves kids, so he goes along with his parents' plans... until it comes time to choose a specialization, at which point he quietly shunts from surgery into pediatrics. He fails to mention this fact to his parents until it's already been a done deal for a few years and there's nothing they can do about it.

Dan, meanwhile, has Steve and George sheltering him from the slings and arrows of his parents' good intentions. The first two sons turned out okay (I headcanon George being a marketing manager) and so the parental units will let their baby indulge his dreams in a non-lucrative sport for a while. And then pay for him to get a degree in media studies. And then still approve of him, since he brought them grandchildren, even if he supports them less than Steve.

[anime-grimmy-art]

What do you do when there’s not much to an AU? You make up your own stuff, ofc. And as is per usual when I make Character Designs, I make up a shit ton of lore too.

The ramblings under the cut, but what I’m really interested in, is what you guys think. Do you guys have any headcanons/ideas for this AU? Let me hear them! Also, if you don’t wanna read on tumblr, here’s the Google Docs link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/151yshHxnb_--P6eMKkwkI2dee9xC_Llb/view?usp=sharing

Before I get into the characters’ roles, here’s some general facts and backstory of their town:

- Basically, it’s Undertale meets Harvest Moon / Stardew Valley. Well, kinda. I at least used that approach for coming up for the jobs for the characters. You know, how there’s always a general store, a doctor, a smithy, etc.

- The usual story of a HM game is that you come to a town that’s way past its glory days and you, as the player/farmer, help them get back to that. The “backstory” of the town is that that already kinda happened. I’ll get into it more in the character description, but basically when Asgore was still mayor, the town got really popular. Then yadda yadda, a certain tragedy happened, two kids died, and the town suddenly got very bad publicity. There was a lot of stuff going on back then, bad reputation being spread and also a lot of law stuff, cos, you know, supposed child murder ‘n all, so Asgore made the decision to shut off the town to ppl from outside. This was in the interest of most monsters living there, because as fun as it is to have a lot of people coming there, most just wanted to live a quiet life. Not everyone was happy with that though, so many moved away from town and some others are trying to get the town back on its feet. But more on that later.

On to the characters:

I’m just gonna start with the skelebros, cos it’s their fault in the first place I got so invested.

Basically, they are what the player is in hm/sdv. They just showed up one day, took over the abandoned farmhouse and began their life there. The two came to town way after it was “closed” and since then a new mayor has opened the possibility for new residents to move in. Their farm helps the economy of the town a lot and the mayor, like usually in hm games, is trying to use that to make the town more known again. The skelebros aren’t really working towards that goal however.

So, now a bit more detail on them individually.

Papyrus:

- The design is mostly based on what’s “canon” in this au.

- He works mostly on the fields and is in charge of the crops. Their fields aren’t spectacularly big, but still big enough to plant a few dozen rows of veggies. 

- Paps also helps out a lot in town when he has the time. He helps Asgore with his plants, he goes fishing with Undyne, helps Toriel carry crates around and so on. This is inspired by the part-time job mechanic in HM ToT.

- Unbelievably, in this AU Pap is not an absolutely awful cook. Since he helps out at Muffet’s and Grillby’s a lot, they tend to show him some tricks to cooking. Even though Pap’s not a big fan of the greasy or overly sweet cooking those two do, he picks up a lot.

Sans:

- Again, design mostly based on the “canon” look. Maybe a bit more baggy.

- This is finally an AU this dude gets to rest. Since there are no resets and he doesn’t have to see his bro die again and again, for once in his life, he’s not a sad ball of depression. He’s just a chill and lazy dude that loves to make puns. Though, since he’s not too experienced with the feelings of loss, helplessness or grieving, he still tends to hide behind puns and fakes smiles if he does feel bad.

- Sans is in charge of the animals on the farm. Papyrus begrudgingly gave him that role since Pap’s loud demeanour and hectic movements usually scare the animals. Sans’ relaxed attitude draws the animals to him naturally and even if Pap mostly finds him sleep against a tree, in a stack of hay or on one of the sheep, the animals are always fed, healthy and relaxed, so Sans seems to be doing his job.

- Sans always has a small chic sit inside his hoodie or hat. Is it always the same one? Who knows, maybe.

- Sans also, somehow, can produce eggs out of thin air. Grab into his hoodie pocket, in his pants pocket, in his hat, in his slipper, there’s suddenly always an egg there. On good days he can even make butter or cheese appear. 

Gaster:

- He’s literally just a scarecrow in this. Though, if you ask any of the bros why they designed their scarecrow that way, they won’t have an answer.

Frisk&Toriel:

- Frisk is mostly based on what I wore myself as a kid in summer. Just a loose shirt with a cappy. Toriel basically has her ut gown, just with an apron on top.

- Frisk just appeared outside the “magical” forest one day. Napstablook and his cousin found them and brought them to Toriel, who has been taking care of them since.

- Toriel runs the general store in town, but also often takes care of the few kids that still live there.

- Frisk usually helps out in Toriels store, plays with the other kids or sits around at Asgore’s. They’re notorious for nabbing small snacks, mostly from Asgore’s plants. You’ll always find them munching on something. 

- Frisk was in town before the skelebros. Since they’d moved in, Frisk often went to spy on their farm. After a small incident with angry chicken, Frisk got to know the two better and now they see them as something between brothers and uncles.

- But Frisk honestly gets along with everyone. Just like in UT, they’ve not only been adopted by Toriel but literally everyone.

- Toriel and Asgore’s relationship is not as bad as in the main game, since, you know, Asgore didn’t kill literal children, but there’s still tension between them. Back when Asriel and Chara died and the whole thing with the bad rep for the town began, Toriel felt betrayed by Asgore focusing more on the town than giving their deceased kids the grieving they deserved. They’re not divorced, but Toriel still moved out and said needed space to think. Now that Frisk is in the picture though, the both of them are slowly coming to even ground and may even be able to talk things out and clear up the uncertainty of their decisions.

Asgore:

-Asgore has his UT Ending / Deltarune clothes, just with a gardener’s belt.

- He’s the previous mayor of the town, but after all the crap that happened, he stepped down from the position. Now he has his own little shop and sells seeds, saplings, homegrown veggies and fertilizer. So, basically what e.g. the Marimba Farm is in HM AP

- His main customer is Papyrus and they’re on friendly terms. Asgore is worried about how much and how hard Pap works, so he often gives him a discount. 

- Since his family’s past tragedy, Asgore is kind of nervous around kids. So, when he first met Frisk, he hoped they’d not visit him too often. But to his chagrin, Frisk took an instant liking to him and spends a lot of time at his shop (and steals eats the fresh grown veggies). Now, he’s really grateful for that, because for one, he loves Frisk as dearly as he had his own children, and also because now the tension and mistrust between him and Toriel seem to grow smaller day by day.

Undyne&Alphys:

- I gave Undyne a pretty basic fisher’s outfit. Alphys basically has Elli from HM’s outfit, just a bit more doctory stuff added. She still has her canon lab coat too.

- In essence, Undyne and Alphys have 2 completely different jobs. Alphys is the resident doctor and Undyne runs the fish market.

Two things. Yes, I know Alphys is more a mechanic than a doctor, she fits the aesthetic though, so she’s the doc now. And no, Undyne being a fisherwoman is not cannibalism, think of it more as a shark hunting smaller fish.

- The reason I lump them together is because they act as the local “smithy”. Alphys is still really tech savvy in this (I mean, Mettaton is still part of this AU), so she takes on most problems with electronics and stuff. For Undyne, I didn’t want to lose her Royal Guard’s Captain image, so she’s really good at handling tools (and weapons, but Al doesn’t let her make them anymore). So basically, if there’s a broken tool, you can be sure that either Undyne or Alphys can fix it.

- As for relationships, those two are still an item. Alphys is still really shy and a shut-off, but since Undyne and Pap become best friends, she gets to know the skelebros better. She and Sans especially get along well, since most of the time Undyne and Papyrus are let loose, they sit back and talk about science-y stuff. (no, Sans doesn’t have a background in science but he’s still into sci-fi)

- Alphys has a bit of a strained relationship with both Asgore and Mettaton.

Back when Chara and Asriel died, it was because of “illness” (maybe poisoning?). Alphys feels awful because with her back then limited knowledge on medicine she couldn’t help the two. Asgore doesn’t hold anything against her but Alphys can’t help but feel guilty.

Alphys still built Mettaton’s body in this one. The two had a really big disagreement, because Mettaton hated the fact the town was going to close, and he couldn’t understand how Alphys could feel otherwise, even more so endorse the idea.

Mettaton, Napstablook, Mad Dummy/Mew Mew:

- Napsta and Dummy are pretty self-explanatory, they got straw hats. Mettaton’s outfit is a bit of a joke cos it’s a play on “work at the top and party at the bottom”. The tie has two different sides, one with the yellow red pattern, the other completely red. His “top part” is the business part, because when he’s on tv or in the mayors’ office, you don’t usually see his feet. The bottom is his party/dance part, cos his dancing/entertainment channels mostly feature his legs. 

- Mettaton, still a robot, Napstablook and Mad Dummy are all still cousins in this AU.

- Originally, they all lived and worked at the Blook Farm, the Animal Farm of this AU. Mettaton, however, despised that simple live and after befriending Alphys and her building him a body, he left the Farm to pursue bigger things. 

- Mettaton runs the local tv network. From weather to game shows, he does it all. He also runs the tailor shop in town that sells his designer clothes and merchandise. After Asgore stepped down, Mettaton also took over the role of town’s mayor and now works towards making the place more known again. Not everybody is happy with him doing that though.

- One of those people is the Mad Dummy. He can’t stand people anyways and he always claims that history would just repeat itself.

- Since the whole family is made of ghosts, they have different dummies and scarecrows they can use to take care of the animals. To mock Mettaton and kinda get back at Alphys for giving MTT such an opportunity, Mad Dummy found the blueprints for the Mew Mew robot and now modelled one of their scarecrows after it. 

- Napstablook isn’t fond of taking over obejcts like his cousins do, so he mostly takes care of the snails. Somehow, he can interact with them even when incorporeal. 

Muffet&Grillby:

- The two of them run the Inn together. Muffet cooks in the daytime and makes desserts, Grillby manages the bar in the evening. 

- The two still can’t really stand each other but working together like this benefits them both because their rivalry just spurs them on more.

- Even though Grillby is a patient person, somehow Muffet is the only person who riles him up enough to retaliate. (Well, maybe except for Sans, he’s a strong second).

So, basically everything between those two is a challenge in some way. Even if Papyrus doesn’t notice, even his cooking lessons are a challenge for them. 

- Even though they’re constantly bickering, after working together for so many years, there’s a strange level of respect and trust between them. Even if back when they first started this business, they’d pour salt into an already open wound, nowadays they’d know better and just take a step back from the other or even comfort the other (on very rare occasions only). 

Asriel&Chara:

- They be dead. Kinda.

Some Characters that’d live in that town too but that I haven’t made designs for:

- Gerson is the original smithy of the town. He’d grown up in a family of smiths, but he’d always had an appreciation for the sea. That’s why, when the town became more deserted and Undyne had a good enough skill level as smith, he took up the Captains hat and now mostly spends his days out on sea. He also ferries people to places if they need him to. Oh, and just like in canon, Undyne learned most of her skills from him.

- Burgerpants is a poor dude Mettaton basically kidnapped when he was trying to get fame in the city. Now Burgerpants works wherever MTT needs him to, be that as cameraman for the tv shows, cashier in his tailor shop or his slave secretary in the mayor’s office.

- MK is Frisk’s best kid friend. MK’s parents are in charge of shipping the goods out of town and paying the individual people. MK’s the one that usually collects the goods at the end of the day.

- Other than that, there are only a few people in town. I’d imagine the older folks or the really young families stayed in town after it was closed. I think the librarby dude would still run the library. Some Snowdin residents like the stone family or the dogs also might still live there. 

[machinegunbun]

concept: so i know we think of colson as this really rough guy when it comes to sex, but what about soft!dom col where he's strict but caring, and maybe the reader even has a bit of a praise kink. ❤❤

Omg yess

word count: 1.3k

A/N: sorry theres not a lot of smut, my brain got to wandering and I didn't feel the horniest so maybe pt.2? tons of fluff tho and its good to be back :)

Okay, so.

I'm thinking maybe reader has a past that left them uncomfortable with intimacy, whether from a relationship or otherwise. They're still super into freaky shit, but they need to feel comfortable first.

Does that make sense? Like, they need that safety blanket there first.

So obviously at first meeting Colson was scary, because to an outsider (especially early kells) he's this chaotic, sex machine.

It's clear to everyone that Reader is obviously attracted to him, and they are. They love the idea of doing all this kinky stuff with him, and at first Colson being Colson comes on kinda strong with the flirting, which makes them a little nervous to pursue anything.

But, one day, reader is hanging out with the gang (I imagine she's friends with Ashley [ that is his assistants name, right? God, it's been so long ] ) Maybe they're at a restaurant, nothing fancy just something where you seat yourself, and everyone squeezes into a booth, deliberately leaving no room for Colson and Reader, pointing to a two seater across the way.

You sit just far enough away from the group that you're out of earshot, and you can see them peeking the heads up and around the booth to try and catch a glimpse of what you're saying.

It's awkward at first, you're expecting him to drop some flirtatious joke that makes you choke on your drink, but instead he asks you how you met (whoever you're connected to in the group.) You tell him the story and return the question. He opens up about the fact that they're a day one, and even tells you about some of the stuff they went through together, good and bad. It's the first time you'd seen Colson not crazy or off something. He wasn't kicking out a windshield or hanging from the roof by a metal beam, he just was.

It was then that you realized the difference between MGK and Colson baker, and that before today at this restaurant you'd never met the latter.

Colson was able to express himself a lot better than MGK ever seemed to, at least when it came to you. He inquired a lot about you as a person, but the moment was ruined when you were in the midst of exchanging deep personal stories and Rook shot his straw wrapper at Colson and it bounced off his forehead and into his drink. Colson stood to return the favor, his story completely abandoned.

You didn't get a chance to speak to him like that again until two weeks later, when you met up once again in his hotel room. You were both sat on his bed watching spongebob, waiting for Rook, Slim and Baze to return with the bucket of ice. It wasn't a secret to anyone what they were doing, it didn't take three grown men to find an ice machine.

You didn't mind though.

Colson made you a little less nervous now that you'd seen him as someone other than the party animal you'd come accustomed to on stage. He was actually pretty cool, and really funny when he wasn't stressing you out with his antics.

When you asked him if he would finish his story for you he looked surprised.

"Oh, wow. You remember that?"

"Yeah, of course I do. It feels like the first time I ever really got to talk to you." He seemed uncomfortable at first, but continued with his story nonetheless.

The conversation flowed effortlessly until you began talking about how you always found Colson so interesting. He did things that terrified you like they were nothing. You admired his grab life by the balls attitude, and somewhere along the way of your ranting you opened up about how nervous intimacy made you. How most of the time the only way you could ever get off was by masturbating.

You hadn't even brought it up with him in mind, but the relation clicked immediately for him.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry."

"No, it's really nothing," you laugh nervously "I think it's just anxiety, I dunno. I'm paranoid."

"No, no. I'm sorry for the way I always talk about you— To you." he corrected "I never realized it made you uncomfortable. You always seemed into it, but I should've been more considerate and I'm sorry. I never would have— If i'd known I was making you uncomfortable—" He rambled

"Colson, it's fine." You cut him off "I mean, I am into a lot of the same stuff as you, It's just... I tend to like the concept a lot more than the reality because I am worried, and I need to feel safe before I can even consider something like that."

Colson must've really taken the conversation to heart, because he treated you a lot differently after that. When he'd heard that his loud onstage personality made you a little nervous he was sure to cool it when he was around you. He made sure to address you directly more often when you hung out in groups, whether to joke with you or as a conversation starter. He hadn't realized how uncomfortable and ostracized you'd been feeling in the group aside from your connection to it, but he was determined to change that.

It took a little bit, but eventually you really were comfortable with him, even when he was acting wild. You realized that being an anxious person and being around someone loud like him that you didn't really know was a little off-putting. Large crowds were hard enough for you, but with constant abrupt movement and noise it only worked to make you more anxious. Once you knew Colson a little better it didn't bother you as much, and he even helped you to become a little more comfortable and a little less anxious.

So when you found yourself in his hotel room once again, finishing the tail end of a family guy episode, you decided to make your move.

You weren't really sure how to start. Not with Colson.

You managed to awkwardly snuggle your way into his side, to which he gladly obliged, but you both remained silent apartment from the episode flashing on the tv. Glancing up at Colson, he stared blankly at the TV, glimpsing down to you momentarily to see what you were looking at him for. Your eyes returned to the TV soon after, your hand finding its resting spot just above his XXX tat.

You could feel Colson's chest shake softly with laughter. You tried to remember what had just happened in the show, but you were so busy anxiously devising your master plan to seduce him that you completely blanked. You could feel your heart beating in your chest. All you wanted was for him to blindfold and tie you to the bed and fucking own you. Everything about him drove you crazy. From his voice to his tats to his eyes to that fucking hair. God, you wanted nothing more than to have him between your legs while you tugged at those beautiful curls.

Your hand drifted lower, your nails scraping softly across his skin. This time he audibly chuckled.

"Are you tryna fuck me?" he asks, causing you to blush. It wasn't that you thought you were being sly, but you didn't expect to be confronted like that.

"I-"

"You're good, it's cute that you're shy, I just don't fuck with that teasing shit so, unless you wanna get yourself in trouble..." Although the words were harsh, his tone was soft. Things progressed quickly after that, your lips meeting in a heated kiss to your hands pinned above your head, his mouth moving to your neck as he whispers in your ear

"What's your safe word, princess?"

~*~*~*~

taglist

@kidtheekid

@cclynn88

@lonerlee

@madisonmgklover22

@bakedcolson

@triplexdoublex

@chokemeshaw

@myfatbottomedgirls

@friedwangsss

@rumoured-whispers

@sunflowerbebe07

@nichmeddar

[squishneedsahero]

Maybe It Isn’t all Bad

Awesomest of Them All 2.0

Part 2 of 13

Word Count: 1714

Batman x Batmom!Reader

You know what the bat family needs? Someone to pull them together and give them all the love they deserve. Who better to do that than you? An author rising to stardom in Gotham who catches the eye of a billionaire with your standoffish attitude at a huge social gathering. You are yourself and never pretend to be more or less than that. Plus you're the most stubborn person in the world, refusing to let good things go without reason.

This is a rewrite of my story Awesomest of Them All, I wanted to see how much I've improved over 3 years.

It had been two months since you published your book, and it had taken off. Tons of people loved it and even more had read it. Because of this you were suddenly a popular public figure of Gotham, and of course like all other public figures you were invited to one of the many galas that happen in this city. You hated it. You, y/n l/n the nobody who lived in a shabby apartment and just happened to get lucky with your book. What you wouldn't give to go back to being a nobody so you could spend your Friday night watching Netflix alone on your couch.

Unfortunately you weren't sure how the snobby rich people,who thought they were better than everyone else, would take you rejecting their invitation the first of probably many. But this was a charity gala hosted by Bruce Wayne: play boy, billionaire, and one of the few people present that seems somewhat genuine even if you didn't think he had a single thought behind his eyes. So maybe it wasn't all bad cause all the rich people were donating to charity and Bruce usually made sure the money went somewhere good.

You had worn an elegant gown, preferring it to the ones that let your ass hang out the bottom. The dress was fabulously elegant and made you feel like a queen. You had paired it with your your highest high heels, stilettos that you could stab someone with if it came down to it. So far the night had been filled with pointless conversations and lots and lots of introductions, all while dancing a waltz.

Lets be honest you won't remember most of the new people you had met, you could've met the Queen of England and not have known it. You didn't remember not because you had been drinking, even if you had thought about it many times, but because there were so many people that wanted to get you and your new found popularity under their thumb and gain through you.

You had finally gotten a break by standing by the buffet table and eating the food they seemed to be letting go to waste. If nothing else you would singlehandedly make sure the food didn't get wasted. You kept trying to think of an excuse to go home, but so far couldn't think of anything. Your planning was interrupted when yet another person came up to you, except his face is somewhat familiar. "Hi," you say after you hurriedly swallow a bite of food.

"Hello, Miss (y/n) (l/n)," he begins, knowing your name but you not knowing his, "may I have this dance?" He asks, great another dance luckily you were used to being on your feet thanks to waitressing otherwise you'd be worried about them falling off with all this meaningless dancing. Why couldn't rich people be more fun with their dancing, most of them were white, playing some pop songs, and the Cupid Shuffle could only make things better.

"Yes, Mister..." you pause as you try to place him, you know you know him but you'd seen so many faces like that tonight that it was a blur.

"Wayne," He finishes for you.

"I'd love to dance with you Mr.Wayne," you lie through that smile that was plastered to your face. You offer your hand and wish desperately you had taken your chance to escape when you'd had it only moments before.

He takes the hand you offer to him and leads you out to the dance floor, waltzing yet again, at least you didn't have to lead cause you had no idea what you were doing. "My son read your book," he begins, trying to start up a friendly conversation, "he's keeps trying to convince me to read it."

"That's nice," you respond awkwardly, what were you supposed to do? Try to convince him to read it too? Hell no, you are not going to act like an airhead and promote yourself.

"He doesn't know that I've already read it," Bruce says. You laugh before you can stop yourself, you almost apologize but he laughs as well. "I enjoyed reading it, it was very well written." Maybe he did actually have real thoughts in his head unlike how the media portrayed him.

"Thank you," you say a slight blush making is way onto your cheeks. He was quite attractive after all and here he was complimenting you. The smile on your lips becomes more genuine as the two of you continue dancing, making light conversation, and surprisingly it was quite enjoyable.

Before you know it the party is over. And you'd spent almost half of it dancing with one man. "Thank you for the dance."

"It was my pleasure," he says, and you find yourself blushing for the millionth time that night. Maybe these parties weren't all bad, you'd found a friend you could have intelligent conversations with after all.

You find yourself invited to almost every gala that happens in the city over the next few months and every time Bruce is there the two of you spend most of the time dancing and talking with each other. The conversations between the two of you are pleasant, covering many topics, and most importantly they aren't meaningless like all the other conversations you were forced into at galas.

Bruce would get your opinion on things such as how the money he got for charity should be spent since you had been more recently living among the people he was trying to help. Like you weren't bad off by any means but you hadn't owned a car, relying on bus routes to get around the city and working 40+ hours a week to keep your head above water. You had been better off than many in Gotham but you had been closer to the poverty than Bruce had, even considering his night job. The fact that he genuinely cared and wanted your opinion amazed you. He was the first and probably only friend you made among the one percent at those parties.

Of course the two of you didn't only talk business, other more casual subjects came up. The two of you bonding over having dead parents, even if he was more traumatized and your wounds more recent. Then talking about school and how you had decided to skip college in order to pursue writing while he had been homeschooled then traveled the world instead of college, not that either of you were too old for college though. He was was 23-24, still young despite having adopted an 8 almost 9 year old and you were close to the same age as him.

The both of you being young, and single, did lead the two of you to have more than a friendship but that was after nearly a year of just talking at galas. Okay a year of just talking was a lie. It was probably only six months before the two of you found yourselves out in a garden and shared your first kiss. But it was an entire year before he finally asked you out, claiming it was a dare from Dick and to ease the pressure of the press.

You of course called him on those lies and pointed out the fact that there had not been a single other woman in his life since the two of you met. And said the only way you'd go out with him was if he'd, "just admit you like me." Needless to say he did.

That was part of the reason that he was so attracted to you. Despite what he knew about you from the one day he saved you from Joker, you were just unafraid to be yourself. You had never pretended or tried to pretend to fit in at the galas. You'd never been afraid to call him on his shit, even if it had risked your one friendship that made those galas bearable.

To your surprise when you had called him a dumbass for thinking it was acceptable to give a 9 year old unlimited access to the internet he laughed and said you were probably right. Then for some reason he thought it was a good idea to ask you for parenting advice and you told him that was a worse idea. You had less of an idea how to be a parent than he did, the only reason a 9 year old shouldn't have unlimited internet access was because he was a bit young to already get unrealistic expectations from porn. Mainly you had no idea, it just felt weird to turn a kid loose on the internet but then again you'd been a kid who ate mud and called it fun.

So, all the talking and asking opinions and just spending a ton of time together leads to Bruce asking you out. The press saw this coming from miles away and caught you both on your date, not that they didn't have pictures of the two of you hiding from people on a balcony. But an actual date?!? Amazing! All the internet fans were happy for you, the paparazzi loved you and would do anything to get pictures of the two of you.

The two of you became Gotham's it couple overnight but the best thing about it was that it was real. Both of you were blatantly honest, calling each other out when needed and defending each other at other moments. There were no secrets between the both of you and you wouldn't trade that for anything. It was amazing to you that you had finally found a man who saw you as his equal and if anything he was a man known for being a womanizer.

So that's how it all started, in the space of a year the two of you fell in love and were head over heels for each other. Dick played match maker every chance he got, since he adored you for some odd reason. And of course, when you finally met him Alfred approved of you and Bruce being together, the one person able to call him on his shit and have him listen. It was a miracle that Alfred had thought he'd never love to see.

[theggning]

I Hate the Alternate Ending of Blind Betrayal, and Here's Why!

DISCLAIMER THE FIRST: Massive spoilers for Fallout 4 abound. This post discusses Blind Betrayal, a quest with suicide as a heavy theme. Content warning applies.

DISCLAIMER THE SECOND: This post discusses cut OFFICIAL content from Fallout 4 that has since been repurposed into multiple mods. I am not criticizing any modders or their implementations of this content. Mods are fun and people can enjoy whatever the hell kind of game experience they want with whatever mods they want.

I am ONLY interested in discussing the original cut content as Bethesda had written it, and how it would have impacted the story and lore of Fallout 4.

So, yeah, it seems there was originally going to be another way to conclude Blind Betrayal (BB).

As described in this Kotaku article (citing this post by Tumblr user tentacle-explosion,) there are unused audio files of Danse’s dialogue that show an alternate ending to his pivotal quest. These lines are the only evidence we have of this ending (suggesting that it was cut fairly early on, as no other actors/characters seem to have recorded for it.)

From what we can tell, in this alternate ending of BB, Danse comes up with a possible way out of the sticky situation re: his identity as a synth. According to the Brotherhood Litany, he is able to challenge Maxson’s authority as Elder via combat. If you agree to this idea, you go with Danse to challenge Maxson. The Paladin and the Elder duel one another, Danse wins, and Maxson dies. Then Danse names the Sole Survivor the new Elder-- or with a hard charisma check, you’re able to convince Danse to take the job himself. It is unknown how the main plot would have progressed beyond this point, as there is no other evidence of what being (or influencing) the Elder would have been like or what choices it would have given you.

There is understandable disappointment in learning that this ending was cut. Choices in games are great, and it could have been fun to have multiple different options for how to resolve the quest. In many gaming circles, people complain that this theoretical ending is superior to the one we got and shouldn’t have been axed. The Kotaku article calls it a “way better” ending, and you’ll see many players lamenting that it wasn’t implemented, saying Bethesda was bad at writing for cutting it, etc.

So why did Bethesda get rid of the Elder ending of BB?

In December 2020, after the Fallout 4 Cast Reunion, Danse’s voice actor Peter Jessop answered questions in a private signing session on his Instagram. Peter Jessop is an extremely kind and gracious man, an avid gamer, and a huge fan of Fallout. During the stream, he reflected on the alternate ending and remembered recording the lines, but stated the content was ultimately cut because Bethesda decided it was lore-breaking.

Peter Jessop is right. Bethesda was right. The Elder ending of BB is a bunch of dumb nonsense. It sucks, I hate it, and I’m glad they got rid of it. And now I’m going to tell you why!

SIDENOTE: King Shit of Fuck Mountain

There is no wrong way to play a single-player video game. If you are having fun, then you are accomplishing the task for which the game was made. Good for you! Play it on easy. Play it on hard. Mod it. Speedrun it. Make up an intricate roleplaying scenario. Perform “challenge” runs. Kill everybody you see. Ignore the story and run around collecting wheels of cheese. Games are meant to be fun and there is nothing wrong with enjoying a game however you damn well please. This is especially true for RPGs like Fallout, which are designed with player freedom in mind.

There is an RPG playstyle I like to call King Shit of Fuck Mountain: a naked power fantasy in which your protagonist is the most powerful person ever, even beyond normal RPG plot significance. Through brute strength, incredible charisma, or having completed tons of quests for world-breaking artifacts and weapons, your character wields godlike influence, able to control people, factions, and the fabric of the world itself. A game enables KSoFM gameplay when it allows the player limitless freedom to gain as much power as they like with zero consequences to plot or storytelling.

A great example of this is the Dragonborn in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. If the player chooses to pursue every questline in the game, one single person can become Harbinger of the Companions, Archmage of the College of Winterhold, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Nightingale and Guildmaster of the Thieves’ Guild, hero of the Imperial/Stormcloak army, the chosen one of like, 11 different Daedric princes, a bard, a Blade, and otherwise just, absurdly goddamn powerful in completely unrealistic ways. And that’s not counting DLCs. A fully-kitted-out Dragonborn is King Shit of Fuck Mountain.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with playing KSoFM if you like to. But I’m not a big fan of this style, personally. Sure, my first Skyrim character became KSoFM while I was figuring out the game, but after my first playthrough I preferred my characters become coherent figures in the story of the world. I pick one or two character traits and things that my Dragonborn is good at, focus on them, and make them part of some overall story. My honorable Imperial paladin werewolf is in the Companions, and hunts vampires on principle. My Argonian sneaky archer is a gleeful thief, but would never jive with the College or the Dark Brotherhood. I like creating protagonists who fit into these settings immersively. I don’t care about power fantasies or being in charge. I don’t WANT my character to be all-powerful, because that ruins my immersion and my little story.

Additionally, in a plot-driven story-focused game like Fallout, KSoFM tears the narrative apart. Skyrim is fairly light on story, so the Dragonborn can be the leader of the Companions and the Dark Brotherhood and whatever other factions without any of them noticing or caring. But FO4’s themes, faction drama, and the main thrust of the plot don’t work at all if the Sole Survivor is able to become too powerful or too influential. The Sole Survivor cannot become the leader of every faction, solve every problem, or eliminate every inconvenient bend of the conflict because it makes the lore of the entire setting implode. Thus, the game forces you to choose between factions. You cannot be with the Minutemen and the Nuka-World Raiders. You cannot be with the Railroad and the Institute. And you cannot become Elder of the Brotherhood of Steel.

So if you’re the kind of person who loves playing KSoFM, if you like plots that your character can “solve” with relative ease, or if you just think it would be super cool for your Sole to become Elder regardless of surrounding storytelling, then you might think the Elder ending sounds super cool. You are absolutely allowed to disagree with me here. Install all the mods and write all the fic and have all the headcanons you like. I respect that. There is no wrong way to enjoy a single-player video game. Have fun!

But if you’re a big nitpicky pedantic lore nerd like me, a fan of cohesive storytelling, or if you just want to hear how the Elder ending of BB absolutely fucking ruins Maxson, Danse, the Brotherhood of Steel, and the entire plot of FO4 from a narrative perspective, read on!

1. The Synth Thing

The Elder ending requires the stupid plot contrivance of the BoS forgetting about Danse’s synthhood.

One of the biggest problems with the BoS as an institution is their strict and dogmatic beliefs, which include a widespread dislike of non-human species. Perhaps more than any other non-humans, the BoS hates synths. Synths are, in their eyes, machines given free will, a violation of the sanctity of human life and the ultimate example of technology run amok. To them, synths are not sympathetic, they are not slaves, and they are not victims of circumstance. They are weapons that left unchecked will destroy all of humanity for a second time. Synths are anathema to everything the BoS stands for, and finding out that one of their most beloved and trusted Paladins is one is an earth-shattering blow to their integrity and sense of security.

It is completely absurd that the BoS would allow a synth within their ranks, particularly as they are waging war against the Institute, who created synths in the first place. It is even MORE absurd that they’d allow one to influence their Elder, or even worse, to become Elder. It completely undermines their mission in the Commonwealth, and the core tenets of their extremely rigid beliefs. No matter the Elder, no matter the Litany or obscure BoS law, no matter how valuable the Sole Survivor is as a soldier or how much influence they wield. Danse is a synth. He’s the enemy. He is physically the embodiment of everything they hate.

Not only wouldn’t they trust a synth in general, but the BoS specifically believes that Danse is an infiltrator for the Institute. Even Danse believes that he is a danger, that the Institute may be able to take control of him and use him as a weapon. Sure, we know none of this is actually true, or possible, but the BoS don’t know that. And given how quick they are to order Danse dead without even the possibility of surrender, I don’t think there’s any charisma in the world that’s going to convince them otherwise.

According to Peter Jessop, this, ultimately, is the reason why the Elder ending was cut. He talks about it around the 11:30 timestamp in his Instagram stream, linked above:

“We recorded an ending where you keep Danse alive and you take over the Brotherhood. But there was a question of content… there’s no way the Brotherhood, once they knew he was a synth, would let him be even the right hand of the person in charge.”

Bethesda correctly recognized the incredible narrative contrivance for the BoS to shrug off the reason they’re trying to execute Danse in the first place. Whatever other beefs I have with this ending conceptually, they all come in second to just what a big dumb leap it is to get beyond this first and most important problem.

2. The Complete Death of Conflict

The Elder ending of BB destroys the conflict of the quest, and potentially the conflict of the entire game.

Greed is a poison. There is no such thing as a perfect ideal or a perfect organization. Power corrupts. Humanity has the choice to build back better. War never changes. The Fallout games are full of themes, depicted by the characters and quests and factions we play out.

Blind Betrayal is rightfully praised as one of the most powerful quests in FO4. Not only is it well-acted, but it puts the player in a very difficult position. The BoS has given you clout and glory and free power armor and lots of firepower, but now you see the price: unquestioning obedience. You are ordered to execute your friend and mentor Danse for the mere fact he is a synth. Are you going to follow that unjust order? Are you willing to give up your principles on command? Or is this where you can no longer stay quiet and stay in line?

To be honest, I’ve always thought the fact you can talk Maxson out of killing Danse but still remain with the BoS in good standing was a cop-out. BB goes 90% of the way to forcing you to choose between a companion and a faction, and then chickens out at the last second to let you have both, if your charisma is high enough.

(I believe this has the fingerprints of Skyrim’s development on it-- Bethesda’s writers got nervous about doing another Paarthurnax choice involving the fan favorite Brotherhood of Steel. That’s right. Danse is the Paarthurnax of Fallout. Frankly, I understand why they chose not to go there, but damn, wouldn’t it have been wild? You want to run with the BoS? Then kill your friend and feel the burn. THIS is what it means to follow orders without question.

As for me, I’d pick Danse every time and sleep soundly without the company of shitty bootlicking dieselpunk LARPers- but I digress.)

Anyway, you know what would have REALLY been a copout? If the game asked you to make a difficult thematic storyline choice, and you solved the problem by just not choosing at all.

You are supposed to feel uncomfortable when Maxson orders you to kill Danse, because the game is telling a story about how it is maybe a bad thing to thoughtlessly follow orders without question. It is asking you to think about what the BoS is, what they are doing, and how they are going to run things, if you choose to let them “win” the Commonwealth. It is pointing out that there is no room for gray in the BoS’ black and white. That a good, loyal man may die because of the way he was made, through no action of his own. That soon, you’ll be killing other people on command. The Railroad. Fleeing Institute synths and scientists. Others, down the line. It all depends on who’s giving the orders. Are you going to follow those orders?

Eesh, that sounds thought-provoking and unpleasant and difficult! Let’s just skip it by killing Maxson and making ourselves the boss. Now we get to tell everybody else what to do!

It’s unknown what powers the Elder ending would have granted the player, or how it would have interacted with the other factions. There is speculation that you’d have been able to ease back on the BoS’ dogmatism, or change some of the later events of the game. For instance, perhaps you could talk the BoS down from attacking the Railroad, sparing popular characters like Glory and Deacon who must die in the normal BoS storyline. Perhaps you could have made the BoS a kinder, gentler faction and directed them to run the way you want them to.

If this was indeed the case, then the Elder ending would not only suck the gravitas out of BB, but torpedo the entire main plot.

If you can get rid of any and all downsides to siding with the BoS, why in the hell would players side with anybody else? With the player given total power, the BoS becomes a perfect faction with no drawbacks, no weaknesses, no tough decisions to be made. Screw slumming it with the Railroad or the Minutemen, let’s take over the BoS. Free power armor and a giant robot! Forget the whole intolerance thing, I hereby proclaim the BoS No Longer Problematic! Now to force all the factions to get along, completely removing all conflict and nuance from the plot!

That’s some real anticlimactic “tell Legate Lanius to go home and then he does it” bullshit right there. King Shit of Fuck Mountain!

Look, it might be nice if there was a perfect path like that to take through the game. It would be cool if our characters could be that powerful and the game was that tailored to our individual choices. On the other hand, “I change all the factions to suit my exact liking” might be a fun idea for a fanfic, but it’s an incredibly boring plot for a video game. “I get to make everything in the world exactly how I want it” is Minecraft, not a story-driven RPG with a complex and intricate plot.

It would be great if complex conflicts could really be solved that easily and effortlessly, but hey, you know what? War never changes.

3. The Assassination of Arthur Maxson (Literal)

Arthur Maxson’s death is too significant and fundamentally disastrous for the Elder ending to make any sense at all.

Hero, villain, leader, monster, tortured soul, brutal dictator, immature twerp, bearded sex hunk. However you personally interpret Arthur Maxson, there is no denying that he is a venerated, popular, beloved figure in the BoS. He is the blood heir of the organization’s founder, a powerful warrior, a brilliant tactician, and a charismatic negotiator. He is responsible for reuniting the East Coast BoS with the Outcasts, leading the new, stronger BoS with a sense of shared purpose. There is a damn good reason his name is Arthur and he named his ship The Prydwen, echoes of King Arthur and the legends of his glorious kingdom of Camelot. Arthur Maxson is so beloved that many view him as a demigod, a messiah sent to lead the BoS into a mighty and prosperous future.

So I’m sure nobody’s going to be upset when some wasteland jackass recruited a month ago stumbles in with a synth, kills him, and takes over his job. Right?

It doesn’t matter that it’s “honorable.” It doesn’t matter that it’s done “by the book” via obscure BoS rules. There is no codex or litany or rule so binding that it’s going to overcome the cult of personality around Maxson. There is no way that the BoS is going to accept the death of Arthur Maxson, a man whose reverence borders on worship, especially not when he is immediately replaced by a wastelander, or a synth.

The death of Arthur Maxson removes the unifying glue that’s been holding the BoS together since mending the rift with the Outcasts. Maxson’s death eliminates the one person that both sides of that conflict agreed could steer the organization in the right direction. Some level heads may try to keep the focus on the mission and the Brotherhood tenets, but Maxson loyalists will never forgive the new Elder for his death, and that amount of passionate righteous anger will not be quelled by appeals to the rules. The new Elder’s war on the Institute is basically over before it begins, when the forces splinter and start infighting over the change in leadership.

And this is if the new Elder lives long enough to actually give any orders. I give them around 24 hours after the duel before some angry Maxson loyalist “accidentally” pulls the trigger and “tragically” empties a clip into their back.

24 seconds, if it’s Elder Danse, the dirty synth abomination.

4. The Assassination of Arthur Maxson (Figurative)

The Elder ending of BB falsely pretends that Arthur Maxson is the biggest and only problem with the BoS.

In the Elder ending, as written, the conflict of BB is considered completely and totally solved by the death of Arthur Maxson. The core problem, that Danse is a synth and considered an enemy by the BoS, has not gone away. But by getting rid of Maxson, this apparently no longer matters. Nobody else is going to take offense to Danse’s nature or protest his presence. Nobody else is going to attack him or try to follow through with Maxson’s prior orders. Nope, that meanybutt guy who gave the order is gone, and everybody else is going to welcome Danse back into the fold like nothing ever happened.

I touched on this a little bit on an ask about Maxson a few weeks back, but a lot of people seem to believe that the FO4 Brotherhood of Steel is the way they are purely because of him. That he is the one making them treat non-humans as second class citizens at best, and enemies to be slaughtered at worst. That it’s his fault the BoS is so vehemently against synths and the Institute. That he is the one influencing their imperialistic tendencies, and treating the Commonwealth like territory to be conquered and people to be ruled over by their betters.

He’s not. That’s the Brotherhood of Steel, guys.

The charitable, altruistic, virtuous BoS that many of us met for the first time in FO3 were outliers. Lyons’ group was literally disowned by the rest of the faction because their kindness to wastelanders had gone so far astray from the “core” tenets. The BoS as a whole has always been exclusive, isolated, and seen themselves as “superior” to the average wastelander. They have long disliked or outright hated non-humans (and even Lyons’ BoS in FO3 use ghouls, feral or not, for “target practice” if they get too close!) The rigid dogmatism of the BoS is not something that Arthur Maxson started, but has always been part of their fabric.

Now, it’s true that Maxson is absolutely going hard on the BoS tenets, and extremely dedicated to upholding them. His BoS are the way they are and act the way they act because he believes that this is the way it should be. Is it possible that a different leader may be a little more flexible? Absolutely. Could a skilled Elder eventually show them the benefits of a softer approach and a more generous worldview? Totally. Is getting rid of Maxson and replacing him going to make that happen overnight, or going to make the rest of the BoS who supported him shrug and follow suit?

Nope.

Blaming Arthur Maxson for everything unsavory about the Brotherhood is unfair to him and also foolishly ignoring the deep, massive problems that are far older than he is-- problems that plenty of its members wholeheartedly believe are not problems at all. Getting rid of Maxson does not make the BoS kinder or gentler. Even pretending Maxson isn’t as personally beloved as he is, any new Elder who steps in and starts trying to fundamentally alter the way the BoS operates and what they believe in is going to face some major, immediate pushback.

Like, a full clip of bullets in the back type of pushback.

In the face if it’s Elder Danse, the godless freak of nature.

5. The Un-Redemption of Paladin Danse

Last, and my personal least favorite!

At first glance, Paladin Danse is a steely jackboot, a die-hard Brotherhood loyalist who fully and firmly believes in their cause. Many immediately dismiss him as a humorless brute, or completely ignore him because they think that’s all there is. But if you spend any time with Danse at all, you’ll notice a sort of weariness in him. He is tired, overworked, and his years of service are starting to weigh on him. He has watched friends, comrades, and mentors die in horrible and gruesome ways, and he suffers from PTSD. Though he has always been told that his own sacrifices, the sacrifices of his brothers and sisters have been” worth it,” he’s starting to question if that’s true.

After telling of the incident where he personally executed his best friend Cutler, who’d been turned into a super mutant, the Sole Survivor is able to console him:

Player Default: You did the right thing. Danse: {Somber} It's what I was taught. I don't know if it was right.

This line is an excellent summary of Danse’s entire character arc. He learns to question whether to believe what the Brotherhood has taught him, or to believe in himself. His gut feelings. His sense of justice and his own ideas of what’s right and wrong.

(In the interest of not turning this into an essay about Danse’s character, I won’t even get into how this also applies to his beliefs about his worth as a person. But keep in mind, that dimension is there, Danse just covers it up by making everything about the Brotherhood.)

During Blind Betrayal, after getting the orders to execute him and hearing Haylen’s plea for mercy, we may expect Danse to be ready to fight back or flee. But when you confront him in the bunker at Listening Post Bravo, he’s compliant and suicidal. Danse is so deeply poisoned by the BoS’ rhetoric that his own feelings or will to live don’t factor into the conversation. He demands that you follow your orders and execute him, because he believes, as the BoS does, that all synths are dangerous and must be destroyed.

Danse: {Stern} Synths can't be trusted. Machines were never meant to make their own decisions, they need to be controlled. Technology that's run amok is what brought the entire world to its knees and humanity to the brink of extinction.

{Confident} I need to be the example, not the exception.

Through various dialogue options, if your charisma is high enough, you are able to talk Danse off the ledge. He is able to consider, at least, that the BoS’ merciless judgment of him is wrong and that what he was taught isn’t right. He is a thinking, feeling, self-aware synth, and that makes him as much a person as any human. Danse is no danger to humanity-- and maybe, most synths aren’t either.

Danse is an example, not an exception.

Later on, if you manage to get him out of BB alive, Danse shows further acceptance of his nature. His approvals about synths begin to soften slightly (or many of them do, at least… it’s not perfect.) He is still struggling with his identity and reconciling it with his former hatred, but his dialogue suggests that he’s on the road to being more open-minded and understanding. Along with this, Danse learns that he has value as a person beyond the Brotherhood. He no longer needs to define himself with BoS beliefs or judge himself by how useful he is to them. He learns that he is worth caring about, worth being friends with or being loved because of who he is-- not what he is, in any regard.

[SIDENOTE: Many players, myself included, are frustrated that Danse’s arc leaves off sort of midstream there. Due to the open-ended nature of the game, we don’t get a real conclusion to his arc-- even though much of his idle dialogue doesn’t change and he still espouses pro-BoS sentiments ( an unfortunate by-product of writing for a video game) there is every indication that he’s started down the right path, but understandably has a ways to go.

Also, Peter Jessop agrees with us.]

Meanwhile, in the Elder ending, Danse doesn’t get a redemption. His entire character arc, actually, hits the skids and does a total 180.

He never leaves the BoS. So scratch the need for Danse to ever think about himself as separate from them. He never needs to question what they’ve taught him or whether they’re right or wrong. He never needs to find any worth in himself beyond his use to the BoS. Why would he? He might be the Elder. The BoS is all he needs to care about anymore. The BoS is all he ever needs to be, ever again.

And I think, most horrifying of all, this Danse never needs to change his mind about synths. On the contrary, one of the surviving dialogue files includes Danse’s speech to reassure the rest of the BoS of his stance:

Danse: I want to make one thing clear to everyone. This body might be synth, but my heart and mind belong to the Brotherhood. The Institute is still a tremendous threat to the Commonwealth. They possess technologies that need to be confiscated or destroyed. And even if that means I have to pull the trigger on my own kind, I’m willing to make that sacrifice.

Elder ending Danse doesn’t grow more understanding on the nature of synths. He doesn’t accept that synths are people, or anything more than technology run amok. He won’t even accept that for himself. Elder Maxson wasn’t wrong about synths-- they’re the enemy and they need to be destroyed.

But, see, he was wrong about Danse. It’s okay for Danse to exist in spite of his nature. It’s okay for him to never fully accept his own personhood, and to outright deny it to his kind. Because his body is a machine, but he’s different from the rest because his heart and mind belong to the Brotherhood.

He’s the exception, not the example.

CONCLUSION:

The Elder ending of Blind Betrayal is dumb, contrived, stakeless, character-derailing powergaming crap at its finest and I’ll happily dance on its grave.

People give Bethesda a lot a shit for their writing-- whether it be stuff they left out, stuff they left in, or stuff that they never, ever could have made work due to the limitations of writing for a video game. Plenty of it is well-deserved, or at least worth a discussion. But from the minute I found out about its existence, I have always wanted to extend a congratulations to Bethesda for cutting the alternate Elder ending of Blind Betrayal. It was a good choice. A very good choice to cut a very dumb plot that would have fundamentally altered the story they were telling, and characters that I’ve grown to love. I think the writers deserve some credit and a hearty handshake for the wisdom of this decision.

Now as for why Nick Valentine isn’t romanceable--

[noodlepai]

(OKAY okay so I've come to provide more information on the AU, I'm still working on it a lot so things might change or be added but I got a basic idea of what things are like rn !!)

Info dump moment rn, also TW for slight trauma mentions/hints

• Sam had managed to save the Wii from melting itself all those years ago, and is a pretty big person on tech, so she likes to experiment and try new things, and actively tries to help Eteled out or transfer him through devices so he isn't just stuck in one place all the time, with lots of trial and tons of error, especially since she knows the Wii's getting old and that it can be unstable occasionally with glitches

• Kyle has also taken a liking to learning more about technology through Sam's influence so he sometimes comes over and they both will just study and brainstorm ideas

• Sam moved out of her home and now lives in her own apartment, is in college to pursue her dream of working around and creating technology, hasn't really considered making a job out of it since she mostly does it for fun and likes to achieve her dream goals, Nathan and Kyle also occasionally visit to just hang out and do whatever, usually resulting in the three staying up very late into a movie or game night, and Eteled having to talk Sam into getting sleep for the next morning

• Even though Sam is big on all tech, consoles and video games, she still has a soft spot for old generation consoles in particular

• Sam, Nathan and Kyle had all gotten pretty close growing up so they're like a dumbass trio /lh

• Will moved out of state or some shit

• Kyle wakes up from his villain arc and makes a truce with Eteled /J.. FR though Kyle softens up and becomes more understanding of Eteled's side after they start talking it out, while what happened did bother him at the time all those years ago, he just kinda grew up to the point where it didn't have such of an effect on him anymore, I mean all he saw was a Mii get slice and diced, no need to go beast mode over it, so they forgive each other of the past

• Kyle and Nathan are besties to homosexuals, homie love

• Sam made a Mii of herself from when she was younger to keep Eteled company when going out or having to attend school, Eteled appreciated it but wouldn't wanna admit how it wasn't the same and about how much he would miss Sam when she had to get off the Wii

• Gives Eteled abandonment issues because I love being evil

• He's actually clingy on the inside but would never admit it to anyone

• Also views Sam as a sort of daughter figure besides just a friend but is too nervous to mention it, he wants Sam to be safe, loves whenever she talks or rants to him about anything or shows him something she made or is proud of, or even just anything at all, father Eteled is proud of his child/bestie

• He like, genuinely feels loved around her and would definitely cry about it but would never show it, or at least try not to

• Eteled has the favorite Mii pants because Sam put them on him, with quote "I think it's about time my best friend gets to rock a new style", and yes it did make him almost cry on the spot

• Austin is like, mentally conflicted as hell

• Austin and Eteled both feel guilty for what they've done to each other over the years, aren't sure they can or are ready to forgive the other but they're very slowly learning to tolerate each other

• They're like enemies to kinda friends in a way

• They're traumatized mfs

• They still sometimes fight but it's usually just yelling or saying shit now, they don't do the chair, deletion or axe really anymore since they at least got to the point where they respect each other's boundaries and triggers, and there's no point to keep doing the same old for over 10+ years, for the most part, they still slip up sometimes

• They do fuck up though occasionally so that's why Eteled has scars and Austin is a bit more bashed up

• They still have a rooted dislike for each other they're trying to get over but they sometimes chill out or talk, usually when Sam is asleep or off the Wii for a while, the two just will maybe visit or sit around to at least try to understand the other better

• Sam knows Austin is still around, and it took a while but with time she grew to accept him when he didn't seem like a big threat anymore, and that he was just as important of a soul as Eteled was, she still didn't like the fights and didn't know the full story

• She'd probably section them away from the other with a child gate if she could

• Austin of course has an ego and would never tell another soul that he has many nightmares of the server room and about what happens if he gets caught off guard or is sleeping when Eteled decides to attack him again, Eteled wouldn't do that, and Austin knows it but it's just the deep rooted fear he can't get rid of, even though he's much taller and technically more powerful than the smaller Mii

• Eteled is just tired, usually just sleeps in the Mii channel, especially when under stress or tires himself out if he's going through a moment, like triggered memories or emotions

• From all the deleting and the chair, and more crap from his early life, Eteled is just terrified of it all so even the idea of them scares the fuck out of him, so as a natural response he just tries to defend himself with his axe even if he would be shaking like a chicken, he really tries not to pull it out but he can't always stop himself

• The axe itself would probably also bother Austin a bit, but he would still try to cautiously calm Eteled down since he knows he's just afraid, so afterwards they'd probably have to awkwardly apologize for what the fuck happened at that very moment

• Sam sometimes offers them both to play a game together with her, or plans on playing with Eteled and invites Austin along, as a way to make them bond, they do end up having some fun though

• Eteled has seen and/or been around or within newer Nintendo consoles, but personally prefers being in the Wii since he's used to it the most, and it's the most comfortable and homey to him

• Oh yeah, if Austin or Eteled is having an episode or is deeply upset then the other will try to help sometimes if it's really bad, Austin tries to hide it more but it doesn't always work, yeah they have reasonable reasons to not like the other, but they aren't complete assholes

• They both got trauma memories and aren't gonna just watch the other suffer through it

• Austin may or may not have taken in what Eteled had said all that time ago about "Learning to move past the past", even though that technically makes Eteled a hypocrite when he's constantly beating himself up about shit mentally, even after years, they are both doing it tbh

• Also Kyle doesn't know about Austin 100% but is curious to know his story and who he is and used to be, and how he got in the Wii, especially after the passing of his family member of the same name, little does he know..

• Sam also doesn't know about any of it, neither Sam or Kyle know of what happened or Austin's story, Austin being in a tight spot since he doesn't wanna reveal his identity yet, knowing the possible reaction, for Eteled's sake, Sam's and especially Kyle's, and Eteled being absolutely fucking terrified since the fear of losing someone like Sam could become real, and the small but growing friendship he was slowly making with Kyle could go right back to hatred and wanting the small Mii deleted, not including the fact that he still eats at himself for his past actions so it being brought back up again would be a ✨mess✨

• Austin doesn't know if he forgives Eteled or not, but wants to try to move past it and not be reminded in any way

• Nathan is still a little lowkey scared of Eteled ngl, doesn't wanna upset him or anything and Eteled can tell, he probably sighs to himself but he can't blame the guy

• Kyle has thought about making another Mii of himself on what is now long been Sam's Wii, now that he's older and him and Eteled are rather chill, but decided against it since he wasn't sure, not because he didn't trust Eteled, but because he figured it could potentially remind the Mii of the past, so whenever he plays on it he just uses Eteled

(That's all I can really recall on the top of my head for now, whenever I remember more or add on things I'll probably make a new post about it)